


Sinful

by enamoured_x



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Age Difference, Blood and Violence, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mutual Pining, Swearing, Zombie Apocalypse, slow burn but not really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2020-09-05 18:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 37,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20278150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enamoured_x/pseuds/enamoured_x
Summary: It was almost sinful how much I needed him.Jade Grimes has her eyes set on her daddy's best friend, Shane Walsh.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Had this story on Wattpad like my other one and decided to post on here! I love Shane and I love love love the walking dead so this came of it! Enjoy!

_"I care about you though."_   
  
  


**I.**   
  
  
  


_ Growing up in Atlanta meant hot and humid summers and fairly cool winter nights. Georgia had always been perfect for camping trips and fishing afternoons. It was home yet part of me wanted to leave it. A big part. I graduated high school two weeks ago and I had yet to decide if I was going to go to Georgia State or attend college at Alabama University. I wanted to enjoy this summer but I had to choose my future, one choice would change my entire life or maybe it wouldn't. I thought the only thing I had to worry about this summer was my future, turns out my future slipped out of my hands when the outbreak happened. Everything changed so quickly. Everyone changed. He was my only constant in the new world. It was almost sinful how much I needed him._   
  
  


Mom and dad were fighting again. As of lately their marriage was in shambles and I was not the only one who recognized, Carl was young but he was smart. Everytime it would happen I'd take Carl on a walk no matter the time of day, usually it was late and I could hear them downstairs. I'd sneak in his room to see his covering his ears on the bed, my heart would break more and more seeing him like this everytime. We'd go downstairs and sneak out the back and we'd just walk, sometimes in silence and other times I'd ask him what he did at school or we'd talk about his new fascination with baseball. One night we were walking down the street when a familiar police cruiser pulled alongside us.

"The hell you kids doing?" Shane questioned through the window. Shane was my dad's best friend and practically family. He was a bit of an asshole at times but there were times when we'd actually get along pretty well despite our age difference.

"Taking a walk." I tell him.

"It's midnight," he points out.

"Wow, officer, you can tell time." Maybe the reason Shane was a jerk sometimes was because I could be a bitch. He'd give it as good as he took it though. He never put up with my attitude and maybe that's why sometimes he annoyed me. That and he was pretty hot which just pissed me off all the more.

"Get in the damn car." I hear the locks click and we stop and he stops the car.

"Why?"

"Carl, get in the car, bud." Carl looks up at me. Smart boy. I shake my head at him.

"Jesus, Jade, why you always gotta be like that? Let me just take ya'll home."

"Mom and dad are fighting." Carl frowned as he said it. It upset me to see him so hurt by their constant arguing. Half the time it was over pointless shit and Lori would always make something out of nothing. Of course there were times when Rick was in the wrong but they sucked at communicating, they wouldn't even try to calmly talk about their problems, it would just be a yelling match as soon as it started.

Shane sighed and looked to me in realization.

"Fine, let's go get some food."

"It's midnight." I say.

"Wow, high school grad, you can tell time. Get in." He demands. I huff and look down at Carl, this would probably take his mind off it more than our walk.

"Fine, only if we go to-"

"Waffle house, yes, I know." Shane nods his head. He knew me well, waffle house was probably the place I frequented the most especially on weekends. Shane had taken me there a few afternoons when I didn't have a ride after school, I'd always beg him to take us there before he took me home. Those times were the times I actually enjoyed Shane's company. He'd talk to me about his work and I'd vent to him sometimes. He was a good conversationalist and one thing I loved about him was that he didn't see me as a child. Rick and Lori still treated me like one and even though I was going to college soon they'd act as if I was still twelve.

Once we get to the place we get seated and the waitress takes our order, the place is pretty empty which makes me relax. Carl sat with me on my side of the booth and Shane sat across from us.

"So how was your day?" I ask Shane as I hand Carl my phone knowing he'd be a little bored. He took it quickly and went to the one of games he had downloaded over the years.

"Being nice to me now, darling?" He smirks as our water gets placed on the table and Carl gets his orange juice. We place our usual orders.

"For sake of conversation, yes."

"My day was good, had a few misdemeanors and a few middle schoolers causing trouble. Nothing too exciting today. And you?" He says.

"Just the usual, stressing about where I want to go for college." I shrug and play with the straw in my drink. Carl taps my shoulder and I turn to look at him.

"I need to go to the bathroom." I let him out and he walks to the bathroom.

"You shouldn't be worrying about that too much, it's summer. Have some fun."

"I kind of have to, I need to make a decision soon if I want to attend in the fall."

"So you leanin' toward Alabama or you gonna stay?"

I bite my lip, "I don't know, Shane. I want to leave but I want to stay. Carl needs me he-"

"Don't do that, sweetheart. Carl'll be just fine without you. He'll miss you but there's always holidays and weekends."

"With my parents fighting..." I shake my head, "I can't leave him like that."

"Hey, he's not alone. He's got his cool uncle Shane." He smirks. I roll my eyes. I never called Shane uncle, more so because I was attracted to him as well as the fact that it felt weird saying it. Carl being younger on the other hand was a different story.

"And what about you? Pretty sure you need me too." I smirk.

"Oh yeah, it'd be hell not having you and your attitude 'round." He jokes. Carl comes back to the table and I let him in. He goes back to playing on my phone completely ignoring the world around him.

"You know you would miss me."

"Of course I'd miss my best girl." Shane always made me feel special and I sometimes wished he wasn't my dad's best friend because I wouldn't have a problem going for it if that was the case. Despite him being much older than me.

The waitress comes back over and places our food down. Carl quickly starts to dig into his waffles and so do me and Shane.

Once we're finished and Shane picks up the bill he drives us back home. I tell Carl to go in without me, Rick and Lori we're probably now sleeping and Carl could be very sneaky. He gets out he car and I watch him walk in the house before turning to Shane.

"Was it bad today?" He asks, I bite my lip.

"Yeah, mom was screaming to dad about not being home enough and doing things with us." I laugh slightly, "you know what she told him?" Shane waits for me to talk.

"She said he's the reason I want to leave the state for college. She said she should get the hell away too. She fucking used me to spite my dad." I shake my head. My dad was my best friend, I was a big daddy's girl. Me and mom got along well too but nothing compared to my dad and I.

"Jesus, I'm sorry, sweetheart." He grabs my hand in his and places a kiss on it.

"It's not me I'm worried about." It was always about Carl. My little brother meant the world to me and he didn't deserve to hear their marital problems.

"Hey," he grabs my chin and tilts it up so I can look in his eyes.

"I'm going to need you to start caring about yourself more. Hear me? You worry too much about others, you need'a start focusing on yourself more."

"I don't care about me though, I care about Carl."

"I care about you though. Please, baby, for me?" I sigh and bit my lip. I nod and he smiles. Shane only ever called me baby when no one was around and he wanted to be taken seriously. There were times when he was being a smartass and used the name. Either way I loved it coming from his lips.

"I'll try."

"All I'm askin'."

"Thanks, Shane." I place a kiss on his cheek and he smirks. I kissed him once on the cheek around my parents and they didn't take to it too well, saying I was a little too old to be doing that to "uncle Shane", so I only did it when we were alone and he didn't mind. The whole aspect of only doing certain things when my parents weren't around was something that made me curious about the relationship I had with Shane. The undertones of flirting and the sweet pet names and kisses on the cheek weren't something you'd normally do with your dad's best friend. Regardless, I enjoyed time with Shane even when he could be a real piece of work.

"Anytime. Now get your ass inside and get some sleep, it's late."

"Yes, officer." I tease. He laughs and I get out of the car. He waits till I get inside then he pulls away. My night got better because of Shane and I'm pretty sure Carl enjoyed the late night snack. Shane knew how to make me feel better always. Despite the night starting off with a screaming match due to my parents, it ended good. Little did I know that would be the last normal day of my life. All my problems would fade away and I'd have bigger things to worry about.  
  



	2. II.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a playlist for this story but I don't like it much anymore so I might change it and post it sometime.

_"_ _She smells like forbidden fruit and my mouth is watering. Maybe it was Adam who indulged in the Apple." _   
  
  
  
  


**II.**   
  
  
  
  
  


"We ain't movin anytime soon," Shane sighs. He runs his hand through his hair. We were currently stuck in traffic just outside the city. Everyone had the same idea of getting the hell out of Atlanta once the virus broke out. People all around us were waiting around outside by their cars considering the line wasn't moving and hadn't moved for the past hour. Lori and Carl were currently leaning against the trunk of the car talking to a lady named Carol and her daughter Sofia. Carol's husband was smoking looking bored.

I was sitting in Shane's passenger seat with both my door and his door open.

"What are we going to do?"

"I don't know, darling. Maybe go off into the woods and see if we can get to another road or find a place to lay low away from this crowd." Shane explained. I nod my head liking the idea.

"We can even have some of these people follow. Set up camp for the night at least." I suggest.

"Smart idea. I'll tell some of the people, how 'bout you tell your mom and Carol and her family?" I nod my head and get out of the car as Shane does. He walks in front of the car and I walk back.

"Hey, we're going to go off onto the dirt road, see if we can find some place to stay away from the crowd." I tell my mom, she nods at me and they get in the car.

"Shane suggested ya'll follow us, could be safer than to be around all these people." I tell Carol she looks worryingly at Ed. Ed rolls his eyes but grunts in agreement.

"Thank you." Carol says. I smile and nod at her. I walk back over to the car and get into the passenger seat. Mom had chosen to sit with Carl and comfort him in the back seat as soon as Shane had came to pick us up in a frantic.   
Shane comes back into the car and starts it up. He drives off to the side and cars start to follow. After a good twenty minutes we finally reach a clearing near a cliff with water at the bottom. We all park and Shane tells everyone to set up camp and we have people take watch. Everyone was happy to oblige considering they looked to him for directions because of his police uniform. I helped my mom with the tent as Carl sat nearby with Sofia watching everything happen.

"Will this even fit us three?" I question her as we set it up.

"Guess we'll find out." Turns out it was a fairly small tent, adding me to the mix would just be uncomfortable.

"I can sleep in the car."

"Baby, no. You sleep with Carl in there."

"Mom, as much as I love Carl and want to be here for him right now, he needs his mom." I tell her. After Shane told us dad didn't make it we were all torn to pieces, I didn't want to let it get to me though. The world we knew was gone and I had to be strong now and I had to be strong for Carl. He looked up to me and I didn't want to be a crying mess, at least not in front of him.

"You sure you're going to be fine in the car alone?"

"Yes, trust me."

"When'd you grow up?" She smiles sadly at me and pulled me in a hug. I glady hugged back missing my mom's affection.

"Get some rest, mom. I love you." She calls for Carl and I give him a hug too and say goodnight. I walk over to where Shane is talking to a guy named Morales.

"Sorry to interrupt, but you got the keys to the cruiser?" I ask Shane, he gives me a curious look but digs in his pocket and pulls them out handing them to me.

"Thank you." I say and walk towards the car. I hear him say a few more things to Morales then I hear footsteps behind me.

"Forget something?" He asks as he now walks by me.

"Nah, I'm gonna sleep in here. There's not room in the tent mom brought so I let them have it." I say as we get to the car. I unlock it and grab my pillow and blanket from the backseat to put in the passenger seat.

"You're not sleeping in the car." Shane states.

"Yes I am."

"No you're not."

"You rather me sleep on the floor out in the open?" I start to get into the car but he grabs my wrist stopping me.

"No, but you can sleep with me."

"Mhm, nice offer but you're not really my type." I joke.

"Girl, quit the sass and let's go. I have my tent set up." He pulls me out from behind the door and grabs my stuff for me then closes the car door.

I follow him to his tent that was a ways away from everyone else. It was on a soft bed of grass and when we crouch down to get in I'm almost surprised that he has a good few blankets down and some pillows along with a little lantern turned on in the corner making everything visible with an added orange hue.

"Just cause it's the end of the world don't mean a man has to sleep on a bed of rocks." He says explaining the set up. I snort.

"Fair point." I say. He sits on the floor and starts to unbutton his uniform, the white tank top now visible as he pulls off the button up. I bite my lip and look away.

"Problem, darling?" I can practically hear his smirk. I rolly my eyes and look at him, he was smirking only this time he was completely shirtless.

"Never seen a half naked man before?"

"You really want me to answer that?" I challenge him with a smirk.

"Not funny, J."

"Oh, please, Shane. I've had sex before." I never told anyone but some of my close girlfriends that I had lost my virginity to my boyfriend junior year. It was a nice first time but he wasn't the one. Senior year I let loose and snuck out to some college parties and had a few hookups. I was not a stranger to the naked male body but Shane made me feel things I should not be feeling for him.

"With who?" His protective side washes over him.

"How much time you got?" I joke with a smile. I could count my hookups on just one of my hands but I liked to give him a hard time.

"Jesus, girl. Not cool, no punks should've been blessed with your lovin'." My heart warms at that, he had no idea how good I could give it and I wanted to give it to him. But I knew I couldn't, he'd never see me that way anyways.

"I was just teasing, Shane."

"Oh thank christ, stay a virgin."

"No, I wasn't joking about that part." He groans and I let out a little laugh.

"You tryna give me a heart attack?"

"Maybe." I shrug. I slip off my jacket and shoes, leaving me in leggings and a plain top. I let my hair loose from my ponytail and run my hands through it.

"You smell like apples." Shane comments as he lays down throwing the blanket on his waist leaving his chest bare. I try not to gawk at how fit he is.

"Do I?" Must be my shampoo.

"Mhmm." He hums and closes his eyes, his hands going behind his back. I take a minute to stare down at his rock hard abs. Fuck. I sigh and lay down next to him, a foot of space between us.

"Night, sweetheart."

"Night, Shane."  
  


_Two weeks later _

Two weeks had passed by, Shane and the group were still trying to figure out what the smartest move would be. Everyday it looked as if we would just be setting up camp here indefinitely which I did not mind. It was safe for the most part and everyone was extremely sweet and helpful. Tasks were assigned and everyone followed through with them.   
I would occasionally try to sleep in the cruiser because I felt like a burden to Shane but he was not having it. So I bunked with him. It wasn't bad, the only con would be the fact that he sleeps in little to nothing which started to get very distracting for me.   
Like tonight, he stripped down to his briefs and then made a flirty comment like he always did when I would stare or when I would get undressed too and then we both passed out. 

I awake to the sound of birds chirping and slowly start to stretch. Shane is still passed out next to me and I don't hear anyone else up which I can only assume it's early as hell. I turn to my side to see Shane facing me still knocked out. He looks adorable and I can't help but smile.

"You know it's rude to stare." Heat rises to my cheeks as I realize I've been caught. He opens his eyes and smirks.

"Were you pretending to be asleep?" I question him.

"Maybe. What ya doing up anyways?" He rubs his hand down his face.  
I shrug, "I don't know."

"Just wanted to watch me sleep, that it?" I scoff and roll my eyes.

"In your dreams, Walsh."   
He lets out a little laugh and then it gets quiet. I bite my lip. This moment was easy and light hearted. Every moment with Shane was which is why I liked to be around him. Despite our circumstances, he made me feel better. My dad being gone had me in a fucked up head state still but Shane just had this way about him that could make you forget about everything.

"Shane?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Thank you." He looks at me confused.

"For what?"

"For taking care of me, for always being there for me, especially these past few weeks."   
He sighs and brings his hand up to my cheek.

"Sweetheart, how many times do I have to tell you to stop thanking me? You're family, I'd do anything for you. Always."   
I don't realize a tear is falling until he swipes it away with his thumb.

"Sorry, I'm being a baby. I just...my dad isn't here and..." I didn't even know what to say, it was like it was all just hitting me even though I was fine a second ago.

"Hey, come here." He pulls me into his warm chest and I silently cry into his shoulder. He strokes my hair and rubs my back.

"I know you miss him. I do too."   
After awhile of finally letting it all out I pull away from Shane who has been patient with me.

"I'm sorry..."

"Stop, don't apologize. I'll always be here, I'll be your shoulder to cry on."   
I sniffle and then place a kiss on his cheek.

"I think you should get a little more rest, it's too early." He says and I nod. I go to pull away from his grasp but he has a tight hold. I pause for a second.

"Just come here." He pulls me even closer and I give in and cuddle into him. Immediately a wave of sleepiness washes over me.  
Shane presses a kiss to my head and before I know it I'm out again.


	3. III.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is weird because on Wattpad I always posted Shane gifs with each chapter and now I can't do that and it doesn't feel the same but oh well. Let me know what you think of this chapter in particular. ;)

_"_ _So Adam bit the apple. He was a man starved as he tasted the forbidden. Thus changing the course of everything that ever was and ever will be." _   
  
  
  
  


III.  
  
  
  
  


Two weeks turned into setting up camp for a month. Thirty days of building a makeshift home here in this area. It was perfect to stay until we weren't safe anymore, it was the only solid plan we had. Everyone had more solid jobs around camp, whether it was cooking, on watch, doing laundry, or catching food to eat.

I typically enjoyed being on watch, it was peaceful and I had time to myself. Shane wasn't too keen of it and made sure I didn't go on watch at night. I argued at first but I did enjoy the daytime better anyways. Sometimes me and Dale would be on top of his RV on watch together. Dale was the sweetest old man and I had become quite fond of the stories he'd tell. I had grown close to everyone around camp over the past month. Everyone was kind and willing to step forward for any situation.   
Recently a few members of the group left to go into the city to get more supplies but they were suppose to return two days ago but they had been m.i.a. We were all worried and some of us even talked about trying to go look for them but Shane shut that idea down right away saying we couldn't risk more people going out there and getting hurt. He had a point, although, no one would have admitted it, the people that went out could be dead for all we know.

"Hey, Carl, if mom or anyone needs me tell them I'll be back in a little. I'm gonna go down to the quarry." I tell my brother as he walks by with Sofia. He smiles and nods then continues talking to Sofia. They had grown extremely close over the month, they were best friends and they got along well with Morales' kids as well.

I go into mine and Shane's shared tent and grab my change of clothes. Sharing a tent had been tricky, my mom still didn't know I moved into Shane's tent. She thought I was sharing with another group member named Jacqui who had a tent to herself. I would stay up late way past the time Lori and Carl would go to sleep so it was easy to just go to Shane's tent. I had explained to Jacqui if I could use her for my lie so my mom wouldn't worry, it sounded bad and I was afraid she'd say no and tell my mom but she laughed and said it was okay. I only hid it from her because I knew she would suspect something, she was already keeping a close eye on us because we had grown pretty close. Part of me knows that it would probably look worse that I was keeping it from her as if there was something I didn't want her to know but at this point it was too late to fess up. Maybe there was something to hide, I mean the closer me and Shane got the more we flirted, the more _he_ flirted. Neither of us had yet to make a move and part of me doubted he'd even feel that way despite his constant flirting.

As I get down to the quarry I set my stuff down on a rock nearby and strip my clothes off leaving me in my undergarments. The sun was shining and as I stepped into the water I sigh as it cools me down from the Georgia heat. I step further into the aqua blue water, finally submerging myself fully. I come back up feeling completely refreshed, I push my hair back from my face.

"Damn, am I late to the free show?" I turn to my right to see Shane with his hands on his hips and a huge smirk on his face.

"Just started." I smile at him.

"Well in that case," he slips off his shoes and rids himself of his clothes leaving him in his boxer briefs. He comes into the water and stands in front of me.

"Needed to cool down?" He asks as he cups some water in his hands and splashes it on his face. The water droplets trail down his chest and abs and I have to refrain myself from looking for to long.

"Yeah, it's hot as hell." He nods. I swim further away from him and he follows, dunking his head under water getting his hair wet.

"You trying to get away from me, darling?" He smirks as he comes closer and I quickly slip away. I shriek when he grabs my ankle and yanks me towards him.

"Shane!" I giggle as he pulls me into his chest. We're no strangers to hugs especially over this hard month but this was different.

"I won't bite, although, It's tempting." I shove him away laughing. I look down to his neck smiling at his necklace.

The 22 necklace I had gotten him for his thirty second birthday. I was sixteen at the time, I had saved up enough money to get it for him because for my fifteenth he had given me a gold rose necklace, I had fallen in love with it and still wear it today. I wanted to get him something nice too since he had been so sweet to me. The necklace ended up being a little pricey but I wanted to give him something special like he did me. He always loved talking about his high school years of when he was a football player. He wore the jersey number 22 and he said they were some of the best years of his life. So I got the idea for the necklace.

_"Happy Birthday, Shane." I smiled up at the older man. I handed him the little gift box. My parents had thrown him a party at our house inviting some of his and my dad's colleagues. Shane had slipped outside for a bit needing air from what he told us. I followed him out after a few minutes wanting to give my present to him in private._

_"Darling, you didn't have to get me anything. Your presence is enough." He set his beer down on the patio table and opened the box. I bit my lip waiting for him to say something, I started to grow worried as he just looked at it in silence. I had a tiny crush on Shane and part of me started to worry about him finding this gift a little too extreme for the kind of relationship we had._

_"If you don't like it, that's fine. I can-" He cuts me off as he pulls me into a tight hug._

_"Don't like it? Sweetheart, this is the best damn gift I've ever received." He takes the necklace out the box and hooks it around his neck. I smiled at, it looked good on him._

_"You don't have to say that."_

_"J, I'm serious. This is...this is amazing." He holds the pendant and shakes his head with a smile and pulls me in for another hug._

_"You got me my rose necklace last year and I loved it and I just wanted to do something nice for you." I ramble._

_"This is the nicest thing anyone has done for me. Number means a lot to me."_

_"I know." My cheeks heat up._

_"Guys we're doing the cake!" My dad says opening the sliding door._

_"What ya'll doing?" He asks as he comes outside._

_"Jade here was giving me my present." He taps the pendant on his neck._

_"You bought that?" He turns to me._

_"Yeah." He looks at me weirdly and then sighs._

_"Let's go do the cake."_

My dad had had a conversation with me the next day about Shane's gift.

_"Don't you think it's a little too much?" My dad had asked me as we sat at the table for lunch, mom was out shopping and Carl was in school. Luckily I didn't have classes today._

_"No? It's just a necklace, dad. He got me one last year so I wanted to return the favor." I was worried he was figuring out my attraction toward Shane._

_"Jade, I think it was a little overboard. He's a grown man."_

_"Your point?"_

_"I don't think you should be giving him gifts like that."_

_"Dad, it was just a damn necklace."_

_"Watch your tone, I'm saying I don't like it." I roll my eyes._

_"Well next time I'll give him a big box of nothing. Sorry I tried to be a nice person." I got up from the table grabbing my plate and cup and putting them in the sink._

_"Jade-"_

_"I'm going to take a nap, I have a headache."He sighs as I walk upstairs to my room._

He never questioned it again.

"I love that you still wear the necklace." I point out. He smiles.

"Course I do. It's my favorite thing. You still wear the one I got you." He nods to my neck.

"I never take it off."

"Remember what I said when I gave it to you?"

"It was a poem, I don't remember how it goes."

"_She was chaos and beauty intertwined. A tornado of roses from divine._" I smile at the fact he could recite it.

"You have a way with words, Walsh." He pulls me to him and my heart beats faster. Our chests are touching, he has his hands around my waist, my hands slide up his muscular shoulders to his neck.

"Just for you." My breath hitches.

"Shane?" He leans his head on mine.

"Yes, darling?" I know I'm taking a big risk because if he rejects me I won't be able to look at him again. It'd be awkward and we share a tent so that would be uncomfortable. But the world is different now and things have changed, rules and some morality have been tweaked or forgotten.

"Kiss me." I get even more nervous as soon as the words leave my lips but before I have time to take it back he presses his lips to mine. I was shocked at first not expecting him to follow through but I melt into him right away. His rough lips work against mine and he tastes sweet as his tongue meets mine. He pulls me tighter against him and I work my hand through his hair tugging. He moans and I make the same sound hearing him. I wrap my legs around his waist underwater and one of his hands slip under my thigh and the other stays on my lower back.

I break away from the kiss, "Shane, fuck." My eyes are still closed as I lean my head against his breathing heavily.

"Watch your mouth."

I move my head to where my lips are at his ear.

"You really want me to watch my mouth?" I nibble on his earlobe and place some kisses on his wet neck.

"Jesus," he groans and grabs my neck to face him again. He connects our lips once more and I feel like I'm on cloud nine.

"We should get going." I say as I pull away.

"Mmm," He groans into my neck.

"People are going to wonder where we went and it's not gonna look good."

"Fuck everyone else."

"Shane... " I place both my hands on his face and place a soft kiss on his lips.

"Sweetheart, keep kissing me and I won't let you leave." I let out a laugh. He smiles and holds me tighter.

"We should not be doing this." I bite my lip.

"Don't see nothin' wrong with it." I give him a pointed look.

"My mom would kill you and then me. And my dad..." No, my dad wasn't here anymore but if he knew that his best friend and daughter were making out he'd be livid.

"J... " He sighs and tucks some of my wet brown hair behind my ear.

"We can't do this. As much as I want to, we can't." I try to unhook my legs from his waist a wave of sadness starting to wash over me.

"Oh, no, girl. You ain't getting away that easy." He keeps a tight grip on my thighs so I won't leave.

"Shane, this won't work."

"Who said? We keep it quiet for a while and wait for the right time to tell Lori."

"Tell her what? I don't even know what we're doing but it wouldn't go over well with my mom. There is no right time."

"Baby, I ain't gonna lie to you. I've been wanting to do this since way before the world went to shit. I want you, always have. Give us a chance." I swoon thinking about the fact that Shane has felt this way for awhile. I wasn't alone in my feelings.

"I might need a little more convincing..." His lips meet mine again.   
  



	4. IV.

_"The truth is I've tried to stop thinking about you but I can't." _   
  
  
  


**IV.**   
  
  
  
  


"Hey, guys. What you doing?" I ask Carl as I sit at a little table with him and Sofia.

"Playing tic tac toe." Carl says and he looks like he's in deep thought about where to put his O. He finally puts one down and the he waits for Sofia.  
"Serious game you got going." I say as he nods.

"Wanna play winner?" Sofia smiles sweetly at me.

"Sure!" They go back and forth a few more seconds till Carl wins.  
Sofia giggles as Carl does a little dance.

"Your turn!" Sofia says and makes another board for me and Carl. I let Carl win and he gloats.

"Don't get too big of a head, you're too young." I ruffle his hair.

"Jade, may I talk to you a second?" I look up from my brother to see Dale standing in front of us with a small smile.

"Sure. I'll be back guys." I tell the kids and they nod. I walk to Dale and we end up going into his RV.

"What's up?" I take a seat at the booth and he sits on the other side.

"I was looking out over the quarry today." My heart drops, he knows about me and Shane. Regardless I act dumb.

"Okay? Why are you telling me this?"

"Jade, we both know why." He gives me a pointed look almost testing me to try lying to him. I don't, I sigh.

"Okay, so what?"

"Shane...isn't that your daddy's best friend?"

"_Was. _Yes."

"Isn't he like forty?" I start to get annoyed.

"He's thirty four, not that it matters." I mumble.

"Jade, he's not forcing you to..."   
I stand up.

"God no! Look thanks for the concern Dale but this isn't your business. I'm a grown woman and Shane's a grown man, we know what we're doing. Please don't accuse Shane of something like that ever again." With that I walk out of the RV. I cared for Dale, he was very sweet but I wasn't going to sit there and let him think Shane forced me. I go back to Sofia and Carl and continue to talk to them and play games with them for an hour or two. I loved spending time with my brother and now more than ever I needed to cherish my time with him because we don't know what could happen.

After Carol and Lori came to get the kids ready to go eat I went to mine and Shane's tent to grab a hoodie. It was a little chilly tonight and sometimes the fire didn't do any good. I ruffle through my clothes and when I can't find a hoodie I realized I didn't pack one. I huff and look around, that's when I spot Shane's stuff in the corner, I see something resembling a hoodie sticking out of the pile of clothes and I grab it and throw it on. It warms me immediately and smells just like his aftershave. I exit the tent and walk over to the campfire circle. Some were starting to gather around getting some of the canned food ready to eat. I offer to help Jacqui and Amy with the food but they brush me off saying that they had it under control. I sit down on an empty spot around the fire and suddenly Carl comes running to my side. I put my arm over his shoulder and smile down at my younger brother who's making a silly face at me.

"Hungry?" I ask him and he nods with his eyes wide. A few minutes later everyone is gathered around as food is being passed around.

"Where's mom?" I ask him.

"She doesn't feel good." He explains and I nod my head making a note to take some bread and water to her later.

"Is that my hoodie, darling?" Shane takes the empty spot on the other side of me and I smirk.

"It is." I say eating some beans from a can and sharing with Carl. I pass them to Shane and he digs in. Amy hands us some bread and another can of vegetables. Carl eats a good portion then hands me the can saying he didn't want anymore.

"You look good in my clothes." Shane whispers in my ear and I smile.

"Probably look better without any on." I whisper in his ear. Shane fidgets and clears his throat.

"You're going to kill me." I smirk. I look at the fire and I see Dale across from us watching us. No one else paid attention to us considering they were all off in their own world. I look away from him.

"J, I'm tired." Carl looks to me with sleepy eyes.

"I'll walk you back to the tent." I grab some bread and a water bottle for my mom and walk with Carl to the tent. When we unzip it I see my mom laying there with her hand over her face.  
"Mom? I brought you some bread and water, Carl said you weren't feeling too good." I place them down my her as Carl gets settled in on his side of the tent.  
"Thanks, baby. Just a migraine." She leans up to kiss my cheek.  
"Okay, let me know if you need anything. I guess I'll get going to bed too. Goodnight." I say to both of them as my mom nods and smiles at me and Carl mumbles already half asleep. I zip up the tent and proceed to walk to mine and Shane's tent. Once I'm inside, I turn on the lantern and I slip off his hoodie and pull off my shoes and jeans. Don't think Shane would mind. I unclip my bra beneath my shirt and put it in the pile.

I lean back and look up at the tent.  
When I'm alone I'm left to my thoughts. They run wild with possibilities of 'what if's', I would've been getting ready to go to college right now. I would've been scheduling my classes and getting ready to either move to another state or stay in Georgia. My thoughts go to my dad, he got shot before the world went to shit. It would still be the same but maybe he would've had a chance of waking up if everything didn't happen. I remember when Shane pulled up to the diner me and my friends were eating lunch at. 

_"Okay, but I totally think you should go to Alabama." Christie says popping a French fry in her mouth. Mia nods._

_"As much as we'd miss you, Alabama has the hottest guys." Mia adds. I roll my eyes._

_"Do they?" I joke._

_"Yes! You got offered a full ride too! I'd snatch that up." Christie says._

_"I got a full ride to Georgia State too." I explain as I sip my water._

_"Yeah but-" Christie gets cut off as a man comes strutting our way. Shane. He looks worried and my thoughts quickly go to my dad._

_"Shane?" I stand up from the booth._

_"It's your dad. He's been shot." My blood runs cold hearing him._

_"Where's he at?"_

_"The hospital, I dropped your mom and Carl there already. Came to get you." He explains._

_"Go, we'll cover the tab!" Mia urges and I sigh and thank her as me and Shane run to his cruiser._

_"How...how did this happen?" I ask my voice cracking as tears start to fall._

_"We didn't see the other guy coming out the car." He sighs, running his hand down his face as he drives fast._

_"I should've seen the other guy." He shakes his head. I wipe my tears away and sniffle._

_"It's not your fault, whatever happened it's not your fault. You didn't pull the trigger." I say._

_"Sweetheart, you don't need to comfort me right now. I should be checking in with you."_

_"Shane, he's going to be okay." I say, I don't know if I'm trying to convince myself more though. _

_Three weeks had went by and my dad was still comatose. Lori practically lived at the hospital at this point meanwhile I stayed home and took care of Carl. We went a few times but I knew it was unhealthy for us to be there almost everyday. It wasn't helping any of us. I tried to convince my mom to maybe stay home but she'd yell at me every time. So I let her be. I tried to play games with Carl and take him out to eat whenever I could. He would get distracted sometimes but I knew he was devastated. Shane would often visit and bring us lunch on his lunch breaks. I would tell him he didn't have to spend his breaks with us and he'd brush me off saying he wanted to. I was grateful for him, he made Carl laugh and he also tried to distract him. One time he came around dinner time when my mom decided to spend a night at the hospital._

_"Burgers?" Shane holds up two bags in one hand with drinks in the other as I had opened the door._

_"Carl, Shane brought dinner!" I yell as I close the door as Shane enters the house. Carl comes running from his room as Shane sets the food on the dining table._

_"Uncle Shane!" Carl hugged him. Carl had become a lot more affectionate with me and Shane, always hugging us when he could. I guess after seeing dad have his accident he realized that anyone could just not be there anymore. Although, Rick wasn't dead sometimes it felt like he was._

_"Hey, bud! I got you a milkshake with a cheeseburger." He pulled the stuff out the bag._

_"Jade, can I eat in the living room and watch young justice?" Carl asked me with big eyes and a pouting lip. I sighed._

_"Yeah, go ahead." He smiles wide and carries his food into the living room and turns on the t.v._

_"Got you a burger with a chocolate milkshake. Extra mayo on the burger." He scrunches his nose as he says the last part._

_"You remembered."_

_"Course!" He sets our food out on the table. I bite my lip, Shane did too much for us and I felt like I could never repay him for everything._

_"Shane?"_

_"Hmm?" He turns to me._

_"Thank you, I appreciate everything you've been doing these past couple weeks. It means a lot." I tuck my hair behind my ear._

_"Oh, darling, I'd do anything for you two." He pulls me into a hug and I sigh into his chest. He smelled of cologne and aftershave._

_"Thanks."_

_"Stop thanking me and let's eat." I laugh as we sit down. He goes into a conversation about a crazy lady he had to deal with today, he made me laugh and I was thankful._

"Hey, I was lookin' for you. I-" Shane starts to come in the tent and looks down at me. My legs were bare and out, my shirt was pretty short and showed my underwear partially.

"Yes?" I ask as he gets in and zips the tent up.

"You're testing me, darling." He warns as he starts to take off his clothes until he's left in his boxers.

"Oh, you don't think you're a tease yourself?" I motion toward his chest and he smirks.

"Like what you see?" He hovers over me. I pull him down by his necklace and place a kiss on his lips.

"I do." I bite my lip. He lifts one hand and cups my face, running his thumb on my bottom lip and pulling it from my teeth.

"You're the devil." He says before he presses his lips back in mine. I hold onto his bicep and groan as he bites at my lip. He pulls away from the kiss and places a kiss at my jaw and then down on my neck.

"Oh, Shane." I moan as he pulled the neckline of my shirt down a little to suck a mark into my collarbone. Once he was done attacking my neck he rolled onto his side and pulled me into him.

"Get some sleep, baby."

"Dick." I hit his chest.

"Oh, you'll get that soon."

Now who's the tease.


	5. V.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My chapters are not very long I feel like so I'm sorry for that but I like cutting them off at certain points for climactic reasons or just because there's no where else to take it without going into another 1,000 word scene. Thanks for reading though! :)

_"Temptation is one hell of a drug." _   
  
  
  
  


**V. **   
  
  
  
  


"Need a hand?" I ask Shane as he cleans his shot gun. I was wearing a tank top that showed much of my cleavage and some short jean shorts. I brought a variety of clothes trying to prepare for the weather.   
He looks me up and down as I stand in front of the chair he's sitting in. He looks good himself. His plaid shirt is unbuttoned a bit and I can see his sweaty chest with the '22' hanging around his neck.

"I'll need a hand later." He grunts. I smirk.

"I'd love to help with that." I say smiling. He shakes his head.

"Is this because of last night?" He questions me as he uses the little brush to clean the gun.

"Last night? What happened last night?" I ask playing dumb.

"We playin' it like that, girl?" I was about to answer him when there was a sound, it sounded like a car alarm. Me and Shane look at each other before he gets up and we're walking towards the RV.

"What we lookin' at, Dale!" Shane yells to him as Dale points his binoculars.

"Sounds like a stolen car." He says. The noise becomes louder and louder and suddenly a red challenger is pulling up with a moving truck in tow. Glenn gets out the car and I take a deep breath. They're okay.

"Turn it off!" Shane yells at him as Amy comes running trying to ask questions. It's a bit of a mess till Glenn finally pops the lid and Shane makes the sound stop.

"Everyone's okay, thanks to new guy." Morales says as he hugs his family. Amy reunited with Andrea and finally someone comes around from the cars. My heart stops and I have to blink a couple times to believe it.

"Dad!" Carl yells running past me as Rick runs up to him and hugs him. Lori looks to be in shock as she hugs him. I'm still in shock myself and I don't realize tears are falling until he looks towards me.

"Hey, little lady." I run up to him and he picks me up and squeezes me tight.

"You're here." I say.

"I'm here." He finally sets me down and I can't help but smile and wipe my tears.

"Hey, man." Shane looks at the floor and up at Rick.

"Shane." Rick says and pulls him in for a hug.   
Shane gives me a look when they pull away. This just got a whole lot harder. 

"Disoriented. Fear, confusion all those things but disoriented comes closest." Rick says as Lori and Carl stay glued to his side. I'm on Carl's left and Shane right next to me.

"Words can be meager things. Sometimes they fall short." Dale adds.

"I felt like I'd been ripped out of my life and put somewhere else. For awhile I thought I was trapped in some coma dream, something I might not wake up from ever." My heart drops hearing my dad talk about waking up in the hospital alone to see the world had crumbled while he was asleep. I can't imagine being so confused and alone, your family just gone.

"Mom said you died." Carl interjects. Rick looks down at him then at me.

"She had every reason to believe that. Don't you ever doubt it." He tells Carl and nods at me.

"When things started to get really bad, they told me at the hospital that they were gonna medevac you and the other patients to Atlanta, and it never happened." Shane runs his hand through his hair. He looks upset, my heart aches for him. He probably thinks it was his fault for leaving him still alive.

"I barely got them out, you know?" Shane adds.

"I can't tell you how grateful I am to you, Shane. I can't begin to express it." Rick nods his head at Shane. Shane nods and saves me a glance.

"There go those words falling short again." Dale says looking at me. He keeps giving me looks when he sees me and Shane talking or just in general like he knows my biggest secret and to be honest, he did. But I loved Dale and I think what I told him the other day stuck.

A crackle comes from behind us, I look over to see Ed, Carol's husband throwing in another log into his fire he had going with Carol and Sofia. He didn't want to socialize with us, he never liked to. It didn't take long to figure out he beats Carol and occasionally hits Sofia. It was sick and I hated him, he made my blood boil.

"Hey, Ed, wanna rethink that log?" Shane questions him.

"It's cold, man." Ed replies.

"Cold don't change the rules, now does it? Keep our fires low, just embers. So we can't be seen from a distance, right?" I can tell Shane is starting to get angry. Ed was such a dick and it was easy for everyone to hate him.

"I said it's cold. You should mind your own business for once." Ed says.

Shane starts to get up, "Shane, don't." I beg but he walks over to them.

"Sure you wanna have this conversation, man?" Shane stands in front of him. He fidgets when he gets mad which is what he's doing now.

"Go on. Pull the damn thing out." He orders Carol to get it out. I sigh as Carol pulls the log out. Shane says a few things to Carol and Sofia and then comes back to sit by me. I wish more than anything I could lean into his chest and warm up next to him but that's something I know can't happen.

"Have you given any thought to Daryl Dixon? He won't be happy to hear his brother was left behind." Dale asks Shane. Shane was the leader, our leader who made all the tough decisions and knew what was best. I loved seeing people looked to him for guidance because he fit the role so perfectly.

"I dropped the key, I'll tell him." T-Dog says.

"I cuffed him, that makes him mine." Rick points out.

"Guy's it's not a competition." Glenn speaks up.

"We tell him the truth, he's not gonna be happy about it but we have to tell him." I say. Some of the group nods.

"I dropped the key and ran, but I was able to chain the doors. Not many geeks could've even gotten on the stairwell..." He sighs, "my point is Dixon's alive and he's still up there handcuffed to the roof. That's on us." T-Dog stands up and walks off. Everyone is quiet for awhile till slowly one by one people started to get up to go to sleep. I followed my family back to the tent. With my mom and dad cuddling and Carl in her arms, they would be a snug fit but I know it wouldn't be too bad. I like my space which is why it wouldn't work for me to sleep there before.

"I missed you, I thought I'd never see you again." I tell my dad as Lori and Carl head into the tent. 

"I know, Jade. I'm here though, and I'm not going anywhere." He pulls me in for another hug and I sigh into his chest missing his arms wrapped around me.

"Where do you sleep?" He asks as we pull away. Guilt eats at me knowing I sleep with Shane, his best friend.

"With Jacqui, she has a pretty good set up and I didn't want mom and Carl to be crammed with me." I explain.

"You're a good daughter and even better sister. I'm glad they had you." He says and places a kiss on my head.

"Goodnight, dad." I say. I walk away and towards the tent but I stop when I see Shane alone still sitting by the fire.

"Hey, you okay?" I ask as I sit down next to him. He looks around before placing his hand on my thigh and looking at me.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"I told ya'll he was dead. Put you through that shit, why aren't you mad?" I place my hand on top of his and rub my thumb across his knuckles.

"At the time did you believe he was dead?" I ask, he nods.

"That's why. You didn't know he was still alive, it's not your fault. What do I have to be mad for anyways? He's here and that's all that matters."

"You're something else, Sweetheart." He brings my hand up and kisses it.

"If he finds out about this...I know we said we were going to tell my mom but now my dad?" I huff.

"Like I said, we lay low and hopefully somehow it will be brought up naturally."

"Naturally? _Hey, guys, I'm screwing your daughter, pass me the beans?_" I mock him, he shakes his head with a smile.

"We ain't screwed yet, sweetheart." I bite my lip.

"That'll come soon."

"Will it now?" He squeezes my thigh.

"Oh definitely, I just don't know what to do about all this now."

"We'll figure out something."

"I sure hope so."

"I was thinking about the man we left behind. We can't just leave him up there." Rick says as me and Lori help Carol hang some clothes.

"You're not serious." Lori tells him.

"It's inhumane to live him up there."

"You just got here and you want to leave?" You'd think the end of the world would mean less fighting but not for my parents. Thank god Carl was playing with Sofia, he did not need any more problems in this fucked up world. Before I could intervene Shane comes driving through with his Jeep he had found on the main road a few weeks ago.

"Water's here. Just a reminder to boil before use." Shane says parking the car and hopping out. I bite my lip at how good he looks in his Sheriff County's shirt and hat. He meets my eye and I smirk looking away. This could be fun sneaking around.

"Jade!" We hear Carl shout and my eyes widen, not caring about anything I take off in the direction still hearing him yell.

"Jade, wait!" Shane says from behind me. I continue to run as fast as I could until Carl and Sofia come into sight. I take Carl into my arms right away.

"Nothing bit you or scratched you?" I ask pulling away to inspect him. He shakes his head and I pull a scared looking Sofia to me too. The guys run past us and into the clearing they had just came from. Lori crouches down to hug Carl. I stand up and walk over to see what they were crowded around. A walker. They started to beat on it once it looked up from the deer it was feeding on. Finally Dale chopped its head off. There was another sound in the woods and we wait until Daryl emerged. He rambled off about the walker taking his kill and then shot it in the head once the head started to move. He had pushed past us calling out for Merle back at the main part of camp. This is not going to be good.

"Daryl, there was a complication in Atlanta." Shane speaks to him as everyone looks at them.

"He dead?"

"We're not sure." Shane sighs

"He either is or he ain't." I could tell Daryl was starting to get angry.

"There is no easy way to say this so I'll just say it. Your brother was a danger to us all so I handcuffed him on a roof, hooked him to a piece of metal. He's still there." Rick explains. Daryl walks around in a circle before lounging for Rick. Shane quickly grabs a hold of him and knocks him to the ground. Daryl tries to get his knife out but Shane kicks it from his hand and pulls him into a headlock.

"Best let me go. Choke holds illegal." Daryl yells.

"You can file a complaint." Shane tells him as Rick crouches down to talk to him.

Daryl agrees to calm down and Shane lets him go. I feel bad for him, he was just told that his brother was left for dead, regardless of a shit person Merle is, that's still his brother.

"Just tell me where he is so I can go get him."

"He'll show you." Lori says. They were just fighting about this earlier and now she was okay with it?

I was walking over towards Carl and my mom when Rick and Shane come up talking about going back into Atlanta. Shane was strongly against risking lives to save Merle but Rick wouldn't let up. 

"I know it's not right of me to ask but I'd feel better if you came with." Rick says to Glenn. He groans but I know he'll do it. Glenn was always willing to help the camp out.

"I'm going too." T-Dog says.

"It's just four men." Rick tells Shane.

"No, you're putting everyone's lives at risk by not being here protecting camp." Shane says.

"Shane's right. Merle Dixon? He's not worth one of your lives, even with guns thrown in." Lori states. I see Daryl is not having fun with this conversation.

"No. We're talking about a human being here, guys. Regardless of who Merle is, it's not human to just leave him there. I don't want them to go but what happened was not okay. And guns? We could use some more guns especially after what happened today." I say. I see Andrea and Amy nod at me, Rick does too.

"You serious, J?" Shane asks.

"Yeah, I am." Shane looks pissed. I didn't want to go against him but they way they thought Merle was better off dead and not worth the risk was not sitting well with me. Hell, I had a good reason to not like him out of most these people here yet here I was saying they needed to go get the shitbag. 

_I clean out the handgun Shane had given me a while back. I had went to the gun range so many times with my dad and sometimes we'd go with Shane too. I knew how to use one pretty well and they had taught me how to clean them as well. So here I was cleaning the gun, I was currently sitting on the hood of the cruiser away from camp._

_"Grimes." Daryl says as he comes from behind me. Him and Merle were out hunting in the woods, one last time before Merle leaves tomorrow with a group to go get more supplies in Atlanta. He passes me and nods._

_"Hey, Dixon." I say and focus back on the gun as he walks off._

_"Hello, sweething." The voice makes me roll my eyes. Merle._

_I look up at him as he is now standing right in front of me._

_"Can I help you with something, Merle?" I sigh._

_"You can help me with a lot of things, sunshine." He looks me up and down making my skin crawl. Merle had never made is discreet when he was checking me out, he would say a few comments here and there but nothing more. Shane wasn't his biggest fan because of it._

_"Fuck off." I say and try to go back to cleaning out the gun. He places his hand on my thigh and I scoff and slap it away but he grabs me tight._

_"Now that's not very ladylike, now is it?" He smiles and tries to grab at my waist. I push him away and hop down off the hood._

_"What's wrong? Not in the mood?" He teases as he grabs my waist again._

_"I suggest you get your fucking hands off my girl before I do something you won't like." Shane says walking up and I sigh in relief._

_"We're just havin' a little fun, officer. Ain't that right?" Merle turns to me._

_"Screw you." He lets out a laugh then looks back to Shane._

_"Alright, maybe next time." He winks at me and passes Shane. Shane pulls him by the collar before he could get far._

_"_ _There will be no next time. _ _Touch her like that again and I'll kill you, hear me?" Shane snides. Merle just pulls away from him_ _, smirks and _ _continues walking._

_"Thanks." I sigh and cross my arms. Shane walks up to me._

_"He didn't hurt ya, did he?" I shake my head at his question._

_"No, just grabbed at me."_

_"He tries that shit again, you tell me."_

_"Yes, officer." I smirk and he gives me a small smile._ _ He pulls me in for a hug and placed a kiss on my head._


	6. VI.

_"I will protect you. Always."_   
  
  


**VI.**   
  
  
  


Once we said our goodbyes to the group heading back out to the city some of the women decided to go down to the quarry. I had tagged along wanting to wash some of my clothes and even Shane's, I also wanted to get my mind off the fact that my dad left and the possibility of him not coming back was present.

"I'm starting to question the division of labor around here." Jacqui says as she sits by us with her clothes. She was talking about Shane messing about in the water with Carl. I frowned at that. Shane was the leader they all looked up to, whether they knew it or not he was having a hard time making all the calls. Although he didn't like talking about how stressed he was I could see it in his eyes. After the guys had left to go get Merle, I knew Shane was not too happy with me. I could see it as he looked at me and sulked off. I was going to go after him but I figured it'd be better to give him some space to cool down.

"Are those Shane's?" Amy nods to the shirt and pants in my hand. Everyone's eyes were on me.

"Yeah. Just thought I'd wash them for him." I say.

"Mhmm." Jacqui smirks.

"What was that for?" Amy questions me and Jacqui.

"Nothing." I shake my head.

"Wait, are you and Shane..." Andrea's eyes get wide and she has a smirk.

"Oh shit, you're with Shane?" Amy laughs.

"No!" Like denying it will help now.

"Damn, isn't he your dad's partner? Best friends or something?" Andrea asks.

"Yes, he is."

"Dude, does you dad know?" Amy asks with a smile on her face. They all start laughing. This was a completely different reaction as opposed to when Dale found out.

"Look, no one knows. Keep it quite. Please." I beg them and they all nod.

"Honey, secrets are safe here. Besides, there's no more rules." Carol speaks out this time. I send her a smile.

"Thanks, Carol." She smiles back. We wash our clothes in silence for a few minutes.

"I miss my Maytag." Carol sighs as she scrubs a shirt against the board.

"I miss my Benz, my sat nav." Andrea says.

"I miss my coffee maker with that dual-drip filter." Jacqui says.

"My computer and texting." Amy pouts.

"I miss my vibrator." Andrea says making us all break out into laughter.

"Me too." Carol says which only makes us laugh harder.

"What's so funny?" Ed says coming over to us from where he had been watching us. He never left Carol's side, he was always watching her.

"Just swapping war stories, Ed." Andrea tells him. He walks around behind us.

'Problem, Ed?" I ask and turn to look at him.

"Nothin' that concerns you" He tells me then turns to Carol, "you oughta focus on your work. This ain't no comedy club. He continues to stand there watching us wash our clothes.

Andrea seems fed up and stands up, "tell you what, Ed, you don't like how your laundry is done, you are welcome to pitch in and do it yourself." She throws a wet shirt at him, "here."

He throws it back in her face, "ain't my job, missy."

I stand up ready to come to Andrea's defense if she needed me.

"What is your job, Ed? Sitting on your ass all day smoking cigarettes?" I question him.

"Sure as hell ain't listening to some uppity smart-mouthed bitch." He says to me then motions for Carol, "come on, let's go."

"She's not going anywhere with you, Ed." Andrea says.

Carol tries to get through us, "Carol, you don't have to." I say.

"Hey, don't think I won't knock you on your ass just cause you're screwing that officer."

"Let's go." He tries to pull Carol but Andrea tries to pull her back and I help trying to get in between them. He finally lets go and slaps her across the face. My blood boils and suddenly my fist is connecting with his face. I couldn't get too much force behind my punch considering he was taller so I had to reach up instead of forward but it still hurts nonetheless.

"Fucking bitch!" He yells and slaps me across the face a stinging sensation burning on my cheek and I taste blood, he split my lip. The girls start yelling even more until Ed is getting ripped away from us by Shane. He throws him on the ground and starts throwing punches. Ed gets bloodier by the second and his lip and eye get fat right away.

"Shane, stop!" I yell amongst the other women.

"You put your hands on your wife or your little girl again I will not stop next time. You even look at my girl again you'll wish I killed you right now. You understand?" He demands. Ed mumbles a yes and Shane lets him go. Carol runs over to Ed crying. Shane walks over to me and grabs my face in his hands. His mouth twitches when he runs his thumb over my lip.

"Come on, we'll get the clothes later." He says grabbing my hand to pull me along.

"I'll bring them to you." Jacqui says. I nod my head and follow Shane back up to camp. We walk in silence until we get to camp and we go straight toward his tent.

"You in pain?" He asks as I sit down and he takes a seat next to me. I wipe the blood off my lip.

"Stings, nothing too bad. Shane, you could've killed him." I say.

"Wanted to. When I saw him hit you I lost it" I grab grab his hand in mine. It's bruising badly and is pretty cut up.

"Should clean this up." I say as I lean over to get our pack with the med kit in it. I take out some alcohol wipes and start to clean his knuckles. He doesn't even flinch. I wrap his hand with gauze and then kiss it. He smiles.

"Like you taking care of me." He says. I grab his face and give him a kiss.

"Do you now?" He hums. I pull away.

"Hey, Shane, have you seen..." Lori pulls back the tent flap as I remove my hands from Shane.

"Jade." She finishes. She looks pissed.

"What are you doing in here?" She asks me.

"Ed hit her I was just-" Shane tries.

"I wasn't asking you." She glares at him then turns to me.

"Mom, stop. Ed hit me, he was making sure I was okay." I explain to her. She looks like she's debating whether it's true.

"He hit you?" I sigh and stand up to walk out the tent and talk to her, Shane comes out too. I mentally thank god that she didn't notice my stuff in there.

"Yes, I was just trying to help Carol out."

"That why Ed is barely breathing right now?" Lori asks and Shane nods.

"Thank you for protecting my baby but I don't feel comfortable with her in here alone with you."

"The hell, Lori?" Shane places his hand on his hips.

"Mom, are you serious right now?"

"Yes, I am. Y'all have gotten close and I don't know what's going on but I don't feel comfortable with you two being alone together." I scoff at her and she raises her eyebrows almost testing me.

"Why?" I ask her.

"You're a child, he's a grown man." She states. There it is again, I'm being treated as if I was a child and it sort of made me embarrassed because she called me out right in front of Shane.

"You need to get over it. There's nothing wrong with me spending time with him." I say and shove past her. She follows me.

"Your father ain't gonna like it either when I tell him." I turn around to face her.

"There's literally nothing to tell. I don't know what the problem is with me being friends with Shane. He was there for me when you weren't when dad was in a coma. He's been there for me."

"I tried to be there for you."

"Oh, please, you spent every minute at the hospital and barely checked in on us. Shane was the one making sure we were okay and fed. So tell dad, tell him I'm just really grateful to Shane for being there and saving our asses." I walk away again and this time she doesn't follow.

I knew sneaking around would be tricky and although it was exciting at times it bummed me out when I couldn't walk up and give Shane a kiss out in the open. The women were so accepting of it and weren't even worried about it but of course my parents would be in flames if they found out. Dad would kill Shane, it would ruin their friendship. I had decided since mom was getting suspicious I would bunk with Jacqui for the night. She was more than happy to let me stay with her considering her tent was kind of spacious and I had told her what happened.

"You okay?" She asks as I set up my blankets and pillows on my side.

"Yeah, it doesn't hurt too bad anymore." I explain.

"I was talking about your mom almost finding out."

"No, I'm not okay. I know I'm young and I know he's my dad's best friend but we couldn't help it. He takes care of me and he was always there for me even way before the world went under. He's kind to me and he does whatever he needs to do to protect me."

"Honey, you don't have to convince me. I can see it in his eyes with the way he looks at you. He almost killed Ed today because he hit you." She points out.

"What do I do?" I sigh.

"Maybe warm them up to the idea of Shane just as a person. They know him but maybe if you casually explain the good things he has done for you maybe when you tell them or they find out they won't be as mad."

"I can guarantee every solution ends with them being pissed and Shane possibly getting his face beaten in." She chuckles at that.

"They won't like it but you're a woman and this world isn't what it once was. If you can find happy moments then why not take them?" She says.

"Thanks, Jacqui, I appreciate it. I have no one to really to talk to these days." Sure I had Shane but it's kind of hard to talk about Shane to Shane.

"I'm always here, honey."

"Sleep alright?" Shane asks me as he hands me a plate of some beans and squirrel meat. I had just woken up and the camp was already buzzing with labor.

"Could've been better." I smirk. I dig into my food right away as we sit down on two lawn chairs. My mom and Carl a few feet away.

"I know the feelin'." He says.

"Oh my god, would you look at that!" Rosales says as Amy and Andrea walk over with two lines full of fish.

"Woah, mom look at the fish!" Carl pokes at the fish and laughs. They all laugh and they hand the lines to Rosales. Dale comes walking over as I finish my plate.

"I don't mean to alarm anyone but he's been up there digging all day." He points to the top of the quarry where I can faintly see Jim.

After Shane had to basically tackle Jim so he would stop digging, he tied him to a tree to make sure he didn't do anything too drastic. The sun was already setting and Rosales was cooking all the food, we had all sat down as we pass the tray of fish and put a good portion on each of our plates. I was sitting by Shane with Carl on my other side as always and mom on the other side of him.

"I miss this." Shane says as he serves me a portion and then I pass it to my mom as she serves her and Carl some. Everyone engages in conversation and dinner is filled with laughs.

"You want one?" Shane offers me a beer.

"She ain't twenty one." Mom says.

"There ain't laws anymore. Plus she's got an officer supervising her." Shane tries to joke to ease the mood but my mom still isn't having it.

"I'm good, Shane. Thanks." I tell him. Carl complains he needs to use the restroom so mom gets up and walks over to the woods.

"You sure?" Shane questions me.

"I'm sure. I had my fair share of beers over the past year."

"You sayin' you were underage drinking, darling?" He smirks at me.

"Gonna arrest me, officer?"

"Might have to, I still got my handcuffs in the car if I need 'em." He says as he whispers in my ear. I feel a pressure between my thighs and I sit up straighter and clench my thighs together.

"Something wrong?" He asks, he knows what he's doing to me. I wanted him. I needed him. But it was so hard to do something like that with him with so many people in tents near ours.

"Not at all." I say. Of course my timing is impeccable because right after I said that there was a scream. We stand up and turn to see a walker bite into Amy's arm as she stands in front of the RV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the women all know about Shane and Jade! Also, Shane protecting his girl and Carol and her daughter,, I love. (I don't condone nor like violence but Ed was the absolute biggest piece of shit ever.)


	7. VII.

_"There is no sinner like a young saint."_   
  
  
  


**VII.**   
  
  
  
  
  


"Get behind me, baby. You still got that gun?" He keeps a lookout as he blocks me.

"Yes." I say as I look all around to see them coming from every which way.

"Carl, mom!" I yell as they run up to us.

"Follow my lead." He tells us and we walk with him as he starts shooting. I point my gun at one coming our way and pull the trigger getting it right in the head. A few more surround us and me and Shane take them out. Screaming and chaos surround us as shots fire and suddenly I realize that my dad and the others are back. Rick quickly comes over to us as he shoots as many of them as he can till finally there's none of them left. I grab Shane's bicep as he was still standing in front of me and he turns around and hugs me.

"You did good." He tells me, I nod.

The night turns into daytime as we start moving the bodies. Andrea was still crying over Amy's dead body and we had just found out Jim had been bitten. We had ultimately decided to go to the C.D.C. because it was Jim's best chance and worth the shot for us to see if their was safe passage there. Although, I had agreed with Shane on going to Fort benning, the group and eventually Shane warmed up to the idea of going with Rick's idea.

_*_ _Shane's pov_

"Let's do a sweep." I tell Rick. We grab our guns and walk off into the woods.

"Go ahead, say what you're thinking." He says.

"I still don't think the CDC is our best shot. Fort Benning is the place we need to go to, we shouldn't be goin' back in the city. You gotta consider if putting Lori, Carl, and Jade in that kind of spot is going to go well."

"I gotta do what's best for my family. Why can't you back me up?"

"I don't know, I guess I just don't see it." I say.

"If it was your family you'd feel differently." I stop walking and turns to look at me.

"What did you say to me? I kept 'em safe, man. I looked after them like they were my own." Anger stirs within me. I was there for them when he wasn't. Maybe not Lori considering she was off doing her own shit not giving a damn about her kids but Jade and Carl? I took care of them and when the world went to hell I saved them and kept them safe. They were both my family. Jade now more than ever. I loved that girl so damn much and I would do anything to protect her, Rick coming in here thinking nothing has change was starting to piss me off. It's been tough running things but I pulled through and did it and always did what I thought was best for everyone. Going into the city is not the best idea. I don't want Jade exposed like that out there.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"How'd you mean it?" I question him.

"I'm sorry, Shane. Look, you know I can never repay you for all of that." Giving me his blessing to be with Jade would repay me but I know it's a long shot. Jade is Rick's little girl, if he finds out we've been messing around he'd put a bullet in my brain.

"Whatever, man." We continue walking for awhile checking out the area when he speaks up again.

"Lori said you and Jade have gotten close."

Of course Lori said something, when she saw me and Jade in the tent together I had no doubt in my mind she would go running to Rick to tell him.

"Yeah, she don't have anyone else." I say.

"Lori is a little worried." I stop walking again.

"Worried about what exactly?"

"You and Jade being so close. She doesn't like it." I can feel him trying to figure me out, trying to see if I'll give away anything. But we're both cops, we know how that game goes.

"What doesn't she like? Jade needed someone and you weren't here and Lori was focused on Carl. Who else was she going to go to?" I didn't want to guilt him, but I wanted him to see part of the reason we had grown closer was because she had no one and to be honest I didn't have anyone either. Jade was my girl to talk to. Before everything went to shit she'd listen to me vent about my rough days at work and she would be there for me. She had her moments when she could be a brat around me but I loved her all the same for it.

"I'm not trying to accuse you of anything... "

"Sure sounds like it. I love Jade, she's family."

"Okay, then I won't bring it up again." He goes to walk but turns back around, "but, Shane?"

"Hmm?"

"Nothing better be going on, that's my little girl. You hurt her in any way... " He shakes his head like he can't even finish his sentence.

"After everything I just said you think I'd hurt Jade?" I shake my head, "let's just finish this."

I wasn't going to give up Jade. No way in hell. I'd wanted her and I have her now and I won't let her go. She's everything to me and if Rick and Lori can't see that then tough shit.

*

"I'm gonna ride with Shane so you guys have some extra room." I say to Carol and my mom. Me and my mom weren't on speaking terms still and I know she didn't want me alone with Shane but we'd be in the car following all of them and it's not like the C.D.C. was that far.

"That's kind of you, gives me a chance to stretch my legs." Carol says. She sends me a knowing smile. God bless Carol because I think it pushed my mom not to argue with me.

After saying goodbye to Morales and his family we all loaded up. Shane decided to leave the cruiser here and use the jeep. It was more spacious and overall he liked it more.

Everyone starts up their cars and soon we're pulling onto the road.

"I know this isn't what you wanted to do, I'm sorry." I say. He glances at me and grabs my hand in his while he steers with the left hand.

"Darling, don't apologize. I gotta follow your dad's lead on this one, I trust him."

"If it makes you feel better I think Fort Benning would have been the better option too." He smiles at me. I enjoy the cool wind on my face from the open set up of the jeep. I lean back against the seat trying to get comfortable.

"Tired?"

"Exhausted." I say letting out a yawn.

"Get some sleep, baby. I'll let you know when we get there." He brings my hand up to kiss it.  
  


"Hey, we have to stop." Shane's voice and a little nudge on my shoulder wakes me from my nap. I open my eyes and let out a yawn as I sit up. Shane rolls the jeep to a stop near everyone else.

"What's wrong?" Shane asks the group.

"Hose is shocked, Dale is going to try and fix it." Andrea explains.

"Guys, I don't think Jim is going to make it." Jacqui says coming out the RV. We all look at each other and finally Rick goes in. After a few minutes he comes back out explaining that Jim didn't want to continue anymore, he wanted us to leave him here. After we talk about it we know it's not our decision to make and Rick and Shane help Jim out of the car and help him to sit against a tree. Everyone says their goodbyes and Dale was able to fix the RV temporarily.

When we pull up at the C.D.C. we all get out of our cars and huddle into a group. Everyone with guns has them drawn and surround the group. Carl and Sofia whimper as we get closer to the building. Once we get there Shane and Rick try opening the shutters but they won't budge. My anxiety starts to spike seeing as the sun has been slowly going down and we're really close to the city.

"There's no one here." T-Dog says.

"Then why are the shutters down?" Rick asks him.

"Walkers!" Daryl says making us whip around to see one coming our way. Daryl quickly lodges an arrow in its head as everyone starts to freak out now. Carl starts to whine by my mom and when I look over at him he meets my eye and runs over to me clinging on to me. As they all yell about what to do I hold onto him.

"It's okay, Carl. You know I won't let anything happen to you." I say.

"Let's go, we have to go!" Daryl says as the group starts heading back to the cars but Rick stops them.

"Wait! The camera moved."

"Man, it's automated. It's just winding down. Now let's go." Shane tries to grab him to pull him away but he won't let up.

"We have women and children here! Please! If you don't let us in you're killing us!" Rick yells as Lori tries to push him away. I make sure Carl is not looking at the whole scene, he doesn't need to see this. I keep my gun up and keep turning with him clinging to me to make sure there isn't any walkers.

Shane was finally successful in pulling Rick away, once we turn to leave though a bright white light blinds us as the shutter opens.

As we walk inside we're met with a man holding his gun to us. We all lower ours once he lowers his and he walks us down a hall telling us we'd need to undergo a blood sample. We all gather in a room as he takes our blood. I sit by Shane as always, I always have to be next to him and I know he feels the same because he tries to be within a few feet of me always. As we each wait Andrea is the last one to give blood. Once she's done she gets a little dizzy which results in Jacqui saying we hadn't eaten in awhile. Doctor Jenner leads us to what seems to be a cafeteria and before we know it we're all having dinner. Carl sits right by my side as always and Shane on the other like a tradition. Carl has Lori on his side and Rick sitting by her. Everyone's joking and drinking, I hadn't seen everyone this happy in a long time.

"What's a little wine gonna hurt?" Rick asks Lori when Dale offers Carl some wine to try. I had a glass as well but my parents didn't seem to mind.

Lori shrugs and Carl takes a sip as we all quietly watch him.

"Ew!" He shrieks and we all break out into laughter again. I finish my wine savoring the bittersweet flavor.

"Want more?" Shane questions nodding to my glass.

"You trying to get me wine drunk, officer?" I whisper and smirk. Luckily everyone's having their own conversation and laughing obnoxiously loud to hear us or even pay attention to us.

"Not a chance, darling." He teases. I roll my eyes and continue eating the rest of the food left on my plate. Rick thanks Jenner for helping us and feeding us. The dinner drags on a little while longer till Jenner leads us down some halls explaining that there weren't any beds because the housing unit got shut down but there were many cots and couches. Anything sounded better than the ground so I was all for it.

"There's a rec room down the hall, if you kids want to check it out." He says to Sofia and Carl then he looks back up to all of us.

"Also, if you shower go easy on the hot water." He explains and walks off leaving us to our own devices

"Hot showers?" Glenn looks shocked and we all smile. Shane gives me a look as everyone starts to look around.

"Can you go with me to the rec room?" Carl walks over to me and asks.

"Of course, let's go." We walk down the hall and Rick smiles at us and goes into a room with Lori to check it out. We enter the room and I'm amazed at the amount of books and games.

"Woah!" Carl says running to the shelfs and gliding his hands over the books and then he goes over to the games too.

"What's this, Jade?" He looks over to me pointing at a record player. Music, something I hadn't heard it awhile.

"That would be a record player, it plays music. Want to see how it works?" I ask him and he nods with a wide smile. There's already a track on it so I turn it on and place the needle down on the track.

My Girl by The Temptaions starts playing and I laugh. Dad use to play this a lot on Sunday's and we'd dance around the house. It was a few years ago so Carl was young and probably wouldn't remember.

"Let's dance!" I say laughing as I grab his hands. He looks up at me smiling as we dance around. I love seeing him happy, he's just a kid and he's going to have to grow up fast in this world. The best I can do is help him keep some of his childhood before it's too late.

"Now what is going on in here?" We turn to see Shane enter the room and close the door smiling at both of us.

"Dancing!" Carl shouts.

"Well, bud. You can't dance with a woman like that. Mind if I take over, show you a few things?" Shane asks him as he walks over to us. Carl nods. Shane hols out his hand and tilts his head, "may I?"

"Yes, you may." I say as I place my hand in his and he swings us around as he mouths the words to me and then dips me. I let out a laugh as does Carl. I smile as Shane seems to be enjoying myself. I'm happy, I'm happy with him.

"Come on, dude!" He says to Carl and we grab his hands and swing him around. We're all laughs until the song ends.

"That was fun!" Carl says plopping down on the couch.

"It was, wasn't it?" I say and look over to Shane having him to thank for always adding his fun to the mix.

"Carl? Your mom wants you." Carol says popping in. When she sees me and Shane she smirks.

Carl groans but gets up from the couch.

"Goodnight, Jade." He hugs me and I kiss the top of his head.

"Goodnight, Uncle Shane." He says and hugs him too, Shane ruffles his hair.

"Night, little man." He says. Carl goes towards Carol and she smirks at us before closing the door. 

Arms wrap around my waist and I place my hands over his arms.

"How 'bout that hot shower?" He whispers into my ear.

"Let's go then." I say and grab his hand. He smirks. Once we get out into the hall luckily there's no one wandering around. We quickly find an empty room. The couches look extremely comfortable and there's a cot we can set up in the corner. The room has a little nip of cold air probably cause we're underground and it feels amazing as opposed to the hot Georgia heat.

I walk towards a door and open it seeing the bathroom, it was actually pretty pristine and the shower was calling my name. I saw Shane setting down his bags in the room and he started to take stuff out. I pull my shirt off and slip off my boots and jeans.

"Coming, officer?" He turns around as I start to unclip my bra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh...things are about to heat up... prepare yourselves.


	8. VIII.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare yourselves, this one gets pretty hot and heavy. ;)

_"We sin as devils do, we love as angels do."_   
  
  
  


**VIII.**   
  
  
  
  


"Jesus christ." He mutters and walks toward me into the bathroom and closes the door behind him, locking it. He quickly rids himself of his clothes until he's left in just his boxers. I slide my bra straps slowly down my arms teasing him and his eyes go dark. I finally let the bra drop and he swallows hard as he looks down. I smirk as I hook my thumbs into my underwear and slowly start to peel them down.

"Fuck." Shane groans and when my underwear hit the floor he pulls down his boxers. I bite my lip when I see him completely bare, he's so fit and he's definitely packing.

I turn around and open the glass shower doors and turn the water on, it quickly gets hot and I step in and Shane follows right behind me. He hugs me from behind as the hot water cascades down on both of us. He bites my ear and I groan.

"Let's wash up." I say knowing he's desperate. I turn to face him and pull him in for a kiss. He tries to make it longer but I pull away laughing.

"Let me wash your hair." I say, he groans. I grab the shampoo from the shelf and lather my hands in it. I then start to run my hands through his hair and massage his scalp.

"Fuck. That feels so good." He groans and holds onto my hips. I smile as he closes his eyes and leans down more so I can continue.

"Just relax." I tell him as I scrub a little more till finally I'm done. I bring him closer to the water and runs my hands through his hair rinsing it.

"Your turn." He says and runs shampoo through my hair making me tilt my head back. As he massages me this time he places a quick kiss on my lips making me smile.

"So beautiful, baby." He says and rinses my hair. I give him another kiss as he finishes getting the soap out. I gather the body wash soap in my hands this time and start at his shoulders. Massaging them as best as I could with wet and soapy hands. He moans at the sensation. I then start to work my way to his chest then to his rock hard abs. I almost moan at the taut muscles. I see a tattoo on his lower stomach but I can't tell what it is because of all the suds. I get really low and I can tell he's getting desperate, I smirk as I dodge his lower region and work my way around his hips and start on his lower back up to his shoulders.

"Tease." He mutters.

"I'm sorry, was there something you wanted?" I ask as I slide my hands down his arms. He intertwines my hands in his and pushes me against the shower wall and raises my hands up against it.

"You," he sucks harshly onto my neck, "always want you." I moan as he continues his assault on my neck and then he pulls away.

"Your turn." I know how he feels now. He runs his hands down my shoulders and back all the way to my hips. He slides his hands further till they're on my ass and he pulls me closer to him, I let out a giggle as he massages there and then back up. His hands meet my shoulders and then start to slide down, my breath hitches as he gets to my breast. I throw my head back as he starts massaging them.

"Fuck, Shane." I pant. He slides them over my stomach and glides them on my thighs.

"We need to get out now." I say as Jenner's words of 'taking it easy' on the hot water runs through my mind. He nods and we finish washing up then exit the shower. He hands me a towel as he runs one over his face. I quickly dry up and try to dry my hair as best as I can with the towel. I see his pack with some of his clothes laid out on the table and when I see his uniform button up an idea pops into my mind.

"Hey, Shane. Can you give me a sec?" I ask as he's still in the bathroom drying off. I can only assume he thinks I need to dress so he shuts the bathroom door. Although, we just saw each other naked Shane has always been the gentlemen.

I quickly grab his button up and slip it on. I then dig through my bag to try and find a decent pair of underwear. It's my lucky night when I realize I had thrown in my favorite black lace underwear. I quickly slip it on and then check myself in the mirror hanging on the door. I can honestly say I look kind of hot, I fix my hair a little to make it a little messy and then smile. The button up covers my breast and hangs a little past my ass.

"Done!" I say smirking to myself. The door opens and Shane comes out with a towel around his waist looking at the floor as he runs his hand through his hair and then looks up. His eyes widen.

"Want to have some fun, officer?" I bite my lip smiling. Shane walks over to me and pulls me to him by the openings of the shirt.

"Darling, I'm not going to go gentle on you." His words send a fire through me and my mind clouds with lust.

"Show me what you got, Walsh." As soon as I finish my sentence his lips are on mine. He grabs my face kissing me deeper as our tongues collide. I tear off his towel and he quickly slides his shirt off my arms. He disconnects our lips to take my underwear off and they slide right down my legs. Seeing his face with me in this get up was worth having to take it off now. He turns us around so he can sit on the couch and he pulls me on top of him so I'm straddling him. He grabs my ass in his hands as I start to grind down on him.

"You sure?" He pants in my ear and all I can do is nod. I lift up off him and he holds his now hard member up. I slowly sink myself onto him. He's bigger than anyone I've ever been with and although it hurts I actually enjoy the burn.

"Fuck... " He whispers as I finally sink all the way down. He fills me up so nicely and I have to take a second to accommodate to his size.

"Feel good?" I say bending down to whisper in his ear as I slide my hands up and down his chest. 

"The best, you're so damn tight." I smirk and pull back from him. I start to roll my hips slowly and moan feeling him stretching me. Once I ease into it my hips start to grind faster and I start to slide up and down on him.

"Yes, baby. Fuck!" He shouts. Hearing him in pleasure adds to mine and I only try harder. I grab one of his hands and slide it up to my mouth and take two of his fingers licking them then sucking them in my mouth.

"Fuck, you're so dirty. You like it?" He asks and as I nod he pumps his hips up making me yelp in pleasure as he hits me deep.

I suck on his fingers a little more till I'm sliding them down my chin and placing them on my neck. His jaw clenches as he looks up at me and I smile as he squeezes lightly.

"Shane, you're so big." I moan as he keeps pushing his hips up to meet mine as I slam down. He squeezes my throat a little tighter making me moan more.

"Tell me how much you like it." He says as his movements get erratic.

"Fuck, Shane. I love it, I love you inside me. Filling me up so good." I scratch down his chest a little hard and he grunts.

"Come here." He takes his hand off my neck and pulls my body closer to his till my breast are in his face and he's taking a nipple into his mouth.

"Shane!" I moan as he sucks a little harshly then bites down. I feel myself coming close to my release as he moves along to the other nipple giving it the same treatment.

"Shane, I'm close. Fuck, I'm close." I pant as I keep bouncing as he looks up at me, my hair cascading around our heads. My necklace dangling right in front of us.

"Me too, baby." He says and then he's really going at it giving me everything he has. I'm slowly coming to my release as I roll my hips faster.

"I'm coming!" I yell as my climax consumes me. My back arches as I moan and feel the shocks course through me.

"Oh, baby!" He yells releasing his load inside of me. I moan at the sensation and roll my hips a few more times before stopping. He hugs me to him and I kiss his neck as he calms down. He quickly pulls back with wide eyes.

"I didn't have a condom." I let out a little laugh at his worried expression.

"I have the shot." I say as I run my hands down his prickly jaw.

"Why? When?" He shakes his head as he slides his hands down my bare back.

"When I was seventeen. My friend went with me to get it, I didn't want to risk anything considering I had started to have sex around the time. Lasts for five years." He pinches my ass and I jolt making us both moan considering he was still in me.

"Don't want to hear about you having sex unless it's with me." He says making me roll my eyes.

"Yes, officer."

"And this? When did you get this? I noticed it in the shower." He runs his fingers over the tattoo by my breast under my arm.

"Eighteenth birthday. After me and my friends got out of dinner we saw the shop and it was sort of a spur of the moment thing." He runs his fingers over it.

"A rose." He states and looks up at me. I blush.

"I didn't really know what to get and my friend suggested since I liked roses so much I should get it. She picked one of the drawings out saying it matched my necklace. I quickly said yes and next thing you know I was in the chair." I remember that night like it was yesterday. I was enjoying my birthday dinner with friends and it just felt right when we all shared a look when we saw the tattoo shop. I remember when Christie said it looked like my necklace, she had teased me about Shane for a second reminding me that he was hot as hell and I should screw him. I had brushed her off saying it was never going to happen. The necklace meant a lot to me and the thought crossed my mind that if I lost it then at least I'd have something similar to always be on my skin. Although I never took the damn thing off. I also really wanted a tattoo and it was the only idea I had for one.

"You got a tattoo for me, sweetheart?" He smirks.

"Don't be full of yourself."

"I'm not, but you're sure full of me." He moves his hips making my breath hitch. I feel myself slowly getting turned on again and I roll my hips against his.

"Damn, baby. You want more?" He asks sliding a hand into my hair and lightly pulling.

"Yes, much more." He quickly stands up with me still on him and he places me gently down on the carpet considering we hadn't set up the couch yet. He pulls himself out of me and I moan from the movement, immediately missing him.

"I'm going to give it all to you." He says and places kisses on my neck. He then hovers above me and his necklace dangles on my chest.

"You know I got one too?" He says after he kisses me.

"What?" I ask him confused.

"A tattoo."

"Of what?"

"A flower." He says smiling. I'm still confused on why he's telling me he got some random tattoo.

"A rose?" I ask trying to figure out why he's so smiley.

"No."

"Shane, I don't understand what-"

"A jade." My eyes widen.

"What?" I hold his face in my hands now wondering if he was joking.

"I got a jade flower. Gotta say they aren't the prettiest flower in the garden but you certainly are." My heart flutters hearing that but I still don't believe him.

"Shane, stop messing around." I tell him. I look down at his stomach remembering I saw it vaguely in the shower. I was curious on how I did not notice it before considering all the times I'd seen him shirtless but I realize his boxer briefs have been covering it considering it was really low.

"Shane, what the fuck."

"You don't like it?" He leans a little off me so I can see it better. The outline of it was really pretty, I actually liked it. I never liked the flower too much because like Shane said it wasn't the best looking but he made it look beautiful.

"What the hell did you do that for? And when?"

"A few weeks after you gave me this." He points to his necklace.

"Friend of mine does tattoos, we were at his place drinking when I said I wanted one. I was drunk and I told him I wanted a jade. He was confused but did it. The only rational choice was getting it where no one would see, other than that it was probably not the best idea considering Rick would've really killed me then because you were young. It wasn't even like that though, I just cared for you. Didn't want to accept that I had feelings for you." I almost want to cry but I don't. I can't believe he cared that much to get a tattoo. I can't believe he cared that much before at all.

"You regret it?" I bite my lip waiting for his answer.

"Hell no. Reminds me of you." He says. I grab his necklace and bring him down to kiss me.

"I need you." I didn't know what else to say. I wanted him, I wanted him again and the story he just told me tells me he has been serious about this. No games.

"Yes, ma'am." He says. He slides his fingers down to my core and starts to rub softly turning me on more and more. I squirm as he does so and he playfully bites my nipples.

"Shane, I need you inside of me." I whine. He smirks as he takes his fingers away and brings them up to his mouth sucking them.

"You taste so sweet, darling. Gonna have to have more later." His words make my skin warm and my core throbs.

"Damnit, Shane." I groan. He opens my legs wider till he fits between them and then he's lining himself up again. He slowly pushes in relishing in the pleasure. Finally he bottoms out and he kisses me before sliding out and then thrusting his hips harshly into mine. I shout, not as loudly as I would have if we were somewhere entirely alone. He doesn't hold back in doing it again each thrust harder than the last one.

"Faster!" I say and wrap my legs around his waist squeezing them on his hips. He complies as his pace picks up.

"Like that, babygirl?"

"Yes! Yes, don't stop!" I grab onto his back and when he hits a certain spot I arch my back. I start to drag my nails down his back digging knowing he likes it rough.

He starts to whisper sweet nothings in my ear with each thrust. His words help me get there faster and this time I don't last very long.

"Come around me, baby." He says whispering in my ear. I moan loudly and bite his shoulder to prevent myself from yelling out anymore. He's still thrusting in me trying to get to his release.

"Come on, baby. Come for me." I squeeze him inside of me and he moans.

"That's it. Fuck." I say as he starts to let go inside of me.

"Damn... " He pants and leans down against me. I pull him closer till he's practically laying all his weight on me. His face is in my neck and I play with his hair.

"It's probably really late. We should get to sleep." I say. He places a kiss on my neck before moving off of me. He helps me off the floor and as he turns around to start setting up the couch, I giggle.

"What?" He asks turning his head to me.

"Your back." He walks by the mirror and tries to look at it.

"Guess you enjoyed yourself." He says smirking at me.

"Oh, I did very much." I go into the bathroom to clean up and then come out to see Shane had set up the couch pretty nicely with the cot. He's still naked and I enjoy the site as he walks past me to go into the bathroom. I go over to the couch and get underneath the thick comforter and a few minutes later Shane is walking out. He turns off the lights and then slips in next to me and pulls me close so we're chest to chest.

"Love you, sweetheart."

"Love you too, Shane."  
  



	9. IX.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is bit short but I figured after last chapter you guys might need to cool off. ;)

_"Within a few moments everything can turn from hope to fear. But in this world, what did we expect?"_   
  
  
  
  


**IX.**   
  
  
  
  
  


I fall asleep content in his arms, this was one of the best nights I have had in forever.

I wake up to the rise and fall of Shane's chest. I was wrapped around him with my head on his chest and he had his arm wrapped around me. I take a few minutes to just feel this moment. Waking up from last night's events on a soft couch buried under blankets with a warm Shane to cuddle with. It almost feels to good to be true. Yet here I was.

I start to wonder what time it is and if everyone else is up. As if on cue I hear some voices from the hall as they pass the door. Guess it must be time to get up and get some food.

I look up at Shane, he looks so stress free when he's sleeping. He's always so worried and always making sure every little thing is in order for group's safety. He does so much to protect us all and I wish he didn't put all this weight on his shoulders.

I sigh and sit up a little. I run my hands down his abs and go down until I'm met with the jade tattoo. I trace over it still not believing that he did this and the fact that he did it so long ago too. I lean down and place a kiss there and then trail my kisses up his stomach. He starts to stir once I get to his chest, he opens his eyes when I start to place kisses on his collarbone and neck. Finally I pull away to look at his face.

"That's a nice way to wake up." His voice is deep and groggy. I smile and place a kiss on his nose then one on his lips.

"Sorry, I didn't want to wake you but I think everyone is up for breakfast." He pulls me so I'm straddling him and I lay my head on his shoulder as he hugs me to him. Our bodies still bare against each other.

"S'okay, darling." He slides his hand up to play with my hair and I moan wanting to fall back asleep. We stay like that for a few minutes more until I sigh and sit up on him. He looks me up and down.

"You should get dressed before I take you all over again." He says. I laugh and get off him. I slide back on my underwear on the floor and then grab a black shirt from my bag and slip it on. Shane starts to get up and starts to dress himself as well. I throw on some jeans and then put on my boots. I go into the bathroom and run my hands through my hair. It's weird considering for awhile we had nothing to look at. We just put on our clothes and went about our day not knowing or caring how we looked. I look in the mirror, my already tanned skin had a certain glow to it that. My parents and especially Carl were so pale in comparison to me, I tanned so easily and they burned easily. The Georgia heat had always done wonders for my skin in the summer so I wouldn't have to go to tanning beds like a few of my friends did.

I run my fingers through my hair to get some tangles out, Shane had fun pulling on it last night.

"Ready?" Shane says as I walk out of the bathroom. He was now dressed in some tan loose jeans with a tight black shirt tucked in.

"Should we check to see if the coast is clear first before we walk out together?" I suggest. He laughs but opens the door slightly sticking his head out.

"We're clear." He says but before he can walk out I pull him and close the door. I reach up to bring him down to kiss me.

"What was that for?" He raises his brow as he cups my face.

"Because we can't do it out there." I shrug, he smiles and places another kiss on my lips.

"You good now?" He asks. I steal one more kiss and nod.

"Let's go." He opens the door and we both walk out and down the hall. We finally get to the cafeteria again and see mostly everyone already seated.

"Morning, guys!" T-dog says as he motions for us to sit. We take seats next to Carol and Glenn, Glenn was groaning with his eyes closed. I couldn't help but laugh at his hungover state.

"Goodmorning, Jade!" Carl says from across the table by mom.

"Morning, Carl, morning, mom." We weren't talking but I didn't want to be rude.

"We have eggs, they're powdered but I make 'em good." T-Dog says as he serves us some on the plates in front of us.

"Thanks, T!" I say smiling. When T-Dog was in a good mood it could be infectious.

"Thanks, man." Shane says nodding at him. He also puts some bacon on our plates with bread.

We eat and then Rick comes in.

"Are you hungover?" Carl asks him and I laugh.

"Yes, yes I am." He says and sits down as T-Dog serves him too.

I don't talk and instead stuff my face with food, I was incredibly hungry.

"Someone's hungry." Shane says smirking as he bites into his bacon.

"Wonder why." I state. We worked up an appetite last night. Shane took a lot out of me considering energy has been low because of lack of food.  
  
  


Within a few moments everything can turn from hope to fear. But in this world, what did we expect? No shelter was ever secure enough, even here.

After Jenner had explained to us how the virus affects us he had also explained that there would be a system wide shut down in under an hour. We were confused as to what that meant until Rick finally asked Vi, the computer AI, and we found out it meant decontamination. Once alarms started to go off we knew we needed to get out of here but Jenner locked the doors. Keeping us trapped in the main work room with all the computers.

"You locked us in? Let us go!" Glenn yells at the man as everyone starts to freak out now.

"What happens in twenty eight minutes?" Rick asks Jenner. I swallow hard waiting for an answer I knew was going to be bad.

"H.I.T.'s are deployed." He says.

"What?" Rick asks.

"Vi, define." Jenner states.

"H.I.T.s—high-impulse thermobaric fuel-air explosives consist of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear. The vacuum-pressure effect ignites the oxygen at between 5,000 degrees and 6,000 degrees and is useful when the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired." The system says. Tears start to form in my eyes as I realize that this place was going to blow up. I look to Shane and once he sees my scared expression he runs his hand down his face.

"Open the damn doors!" Daryl shouts and tries to get at him but Shane quickly holds him back. They stop trying to get at Jenner and start trying to get the doors to open by hitting them with the axes they had, still no use. Carol and Sofia sink down to the floor crying and my mom and Carl sit down with them. Seeing Carl's scared face makes my heart ache.This isn't how he's supposed to die, he's just a boy. Even though the world out there is ugly he can still have good things, he can still have more moments with his family and more time to just experience growing up no matter the circumstances.

The clock is now at seven minutes, the tears I was trying to hold in fall. I sniffle and wipe them away quickly even though they continue to come. Shane sees again and next thing I know he grabs his gun and is walking toward Jenner pointing it at him.

"Open the doors, open them!" He shouts as he points the gun at Jenner's head.

"Shane, stop. This is not the way, he dies we all do." Rick tries to pull him back but he won't let up.

"Open the damn doors, asshole." Shane states with the gun still pointed.

"Shane, please stop." I say finally knowing I might be able to get through to him. I see him visibly tense and finally he lets out a grunt and lowers the gun backing away.

"Please, we're just asking for a chance here. Please, we want to go on living for as long as we can." Rick says pleading with Jenner.

"I told you topside is locked down. I can't open those." Jenner says. My heart beats faster as I see we only have five minutes left.

"Shane... " I say letting out a sob. He quickly comes to my side and brings me into a hug. I don't care about how it looks right now, if we're going to die I want to be with Shane right now. I want someone to hold me.

"But I can open these." I hear the man say as something clicks and then the doors are being open. I let out a breath I was holding and Shane grabs me pulling me to the doors.

"Everyone let's go!" He yells as we make our way to get past the doors.

"No, I'm not going." Jacqui says pulling away from T-dog. I free myself from Shane's grip and run over to them.

"Jacqui, what?" I ask her worreidly.

"I'm not going, sweetie.I'm choosing this. Please, just go. Get out if you need to get out." She says crying. My heart breaks seeing her like this. We grew close and she was a great friend and an even better person.

"We have to go." Shane says trying to pull on my arm. I quickly wrap her in a hug.

"Thank you, for everything." I whisper to her. She smiles through her tears as I let her go and suddenly I'm running away with the rest of the group. We run out to the main doors but they won't open, Rick and Daryl bang on the windows with axes and still nothing. Shane leaves my side to try and shoot at it but still nothing.

"Rick, I think I have something that might help." Carol says walking over to Rick while digging in her bag.

"I found it when I was washing your uniform." She pulls out a grenade. If this doesn't work then we're all really going to die.

Rick quickly takes it from here while telling everyone to get down. We all crouch behind the stairs and Shane comes over to me holding me under him.

"Shit!" I hear Rick say until finally the explosive goes off and we hear the window break. We quickly all get up and hop out and start running like hell to the cars. There's more walkers out and I quickly draw my gun shooting them as does Rick and Shane. Finally we all get into our perspective cars, Shane pulls me down to the floor in the jeep and lays over me and seconds later we hear it. It rumbles the ground and I grip Shane's shirt as it happens. A few seconds later the only noise left was crumbling. Shane leans up a bit to look at my face.

"We're okay. It's okay." He says and I nod as he gets off of me and takes the driver's seat and I go into the passenger's seat.

We were driving for a good few minutes till they all decided we'd need more gas. When we all pulled over everyone got to siphoning and ultimately we decided to use the gas for fewer cars so we could fill the tanks up instead of everyone just having a little. I decided to go into the RV because it was less crowded. Shane of course came with me along with Andrea, T-Dog, and Glenn. Dale was the one driving. Daryl decided to ride his bike and Carl and my parents as well as Carol and Sofia rode in the station wagon.

Once we took off I cuddled up to Shane on the couch.

"They all know." I say when he gives me a look.

"How?" He asks me as he now decides to put an arm around me pulling me closer.

"'Cause yall ain't sneaky." T-Dog smirks at us. I didn't know he knew but when I had decided to cuddle into Shane I didn't care. I knew T could give less of a shit but I didn't know he actually really knew.

"You guys are a thing?" Glenn asks from the passenger seat as he turns to look at us.

"Thought you said everyone knew." Shane looks down at me trying to be stern but I could see the smile starting to form on his lips. I simply shrug.

"How'd you know?" I ask T.

"I seen you go into his tent a couple times at night back at camp. Also, I saw you go into a room together last night." He smirks at us. I blush and laugh lightly. Shane's chest vibrates from his laugh.

"Had a good night?" T smirks as he asks the question.

"The best." Shane says squeezing my shoulder.

"Uh, guys, we have a problem." Dale says as we come to a stop. We all stand up to see that the highway was blocked with tons of cars, of course. We all get out as Dale's hood makes a popping noise and smoke comes out.

"What now?" Carol asks no one in particular.

"For now we look around to see what we can find." I say as I realize that these cars could have stuff that could be of use to us. Most of these people were probably trying to get out of the city so naturally they'd have packed stuff. That could be useful.

"Get what you can but don't wander off alone." Shane says to the group. Everyone starts going their own ways. I follow T to siphon gas a few cars up ahead. Daryl follows us and brings the gas cans. We get to a car and Daryl sticks one end of the hose into the gas tank of the car.

"You doing it or you want me to?" T asks me as he holds the other end.

I grab it from him and take a deep breath before bringing it to my mouth. I suck as hard as I can until finally the liquid spills into my mouth and I bring it down to the gas can and the can starts to fill up. I spit out the fluid and cringe at the taste.

"Here." Daryl hands me a jug of water and I take it and rinse my mouth out as best as I could.

We do one other car considering these cars were actually filled. Once we're done I start to look around to see if I can see anything in the cars I might need. When I get to a suv I open the door and see some suitcases. I open them up to find an assortment of men and women clothes. I take some things out that wouldn't be necessary to wear and I'm left with half a suitcase. I made sure to keep some clothes I think Shane would wear. I make this suitcase my holder for anything I find. I leave the door open as I go along to other cars. Eventually I end up finding some more clothes and a few good books just in case. When I hear a yell I freeze and turn to see where it came from. It was Shane although it wasn't of terror. I see him standing in front of a box truck filled with what seems to be jugs of water. My eyes widen and I walk his way. He takes the top off one of them and he lets the water fall onto him smiling.

"It's like being baptized, man." He says to Glenn.

"Hey, save me some." Glenn says as he was unscrewing something from the car right by it.

"Having fun, officer?" I ask as I get near him and he smiles.

"Having the time of my life." He smirks and holds his hands out. I shake my head and back up.

"No, don't. I don't want to get wet!" I say laughing.

"S'not what you were saying last night." He says smirking.

"Guys, I'm still here." Glenn says cringing. I let out a laugh, "sorry, Glenn."

Shane's face turns serious as soon as he looks behind me and before I can turn to look he's grabbing me.

"Under the cars, now!" He says to Glenn. Glenn gets under the car he was by and Shane pulls me down under the water truck. My heart picks up. I was going to question what the hell was going on until I see the walkers walking through all the cars. My eyes widen and lean back further into Shane. My thoughts quickly go to my parents and Carl. I don't see them but then again I can't see much. I can only hope they're okay.


	10. X.

_"Once again, the earth crumbles beneath my feet threatening to swallow me whole." _   
  
  
  


**X.**   
  
  
  
  


After a few minutes go by and they have passed we finally crawl out from underneath the cars. I assumed everything was okay till we heard a scream,"Sofia!"

Turned out two walkers still lurked around the cars Sofia and Carl were under and when Sofia tried to get out the walkers chased her into the woods. Dad had run off after them but came back with nothing, he then took Daryl, Glenn, and Shane out to look again. Carol was in hysterics while my mom tried to calm her down. I hadn't let of go of Carl since it happened. He was right there, it could have easily been him. After awhile Shane and Glenn come back saying the other two had it covered. They start moving cars to clear the way.

"J, I'm okay. Can we look around, please." Carl says as he looks up at me with pleading eyes and I can't say no. We walk around some cars till Carl spots a walker inside a truck with an axe in their arm.

"Can you get it?" Carl asks. I sigh, we shouldn't be messing with the cars with walkers in them but the tool might come in use. I tell him to step back as I open the truck door. I slowly lean over the walker and try grabbing the axe, I could now tell it was in some sort of wrap. It wouldn't budge at first then finally it came free. I backed away and closed the door while handing it to Carl.

"It's an arsenal!" He says happily as he sets it down and unfolds it.

"Yes it is. Be careful." I say as he takes the axe out.

"Carl, what are you doing? Put that down." I turn to see mom walking over.

"It's so sharp! Can I keep it?" He asks her.

"Are you crazy?" She takes it from him and Carl pouts.

"You let him have this." She motions towards the axe and then the other tools.

"He was just checking it out. No harm done. Besides he might need to defend himself if the time comes." I tell her shrugging.

"No. He's still a kid, these aren't toys. I don't even want you using one let alone that damn gun." She motions toward the gun on my hip. I roll my eyes, of course. Still treating me like a child even though I helped defend them when the camp was under attack and when we were getting out of the C.D.C.

"Carl, why don't you take the tools to Shane? Go show him." I say. If this breaks out into a screaming match I don't want him listening. Mom clenches her jaw but hands him the axe and Carl wraps it up again and walks away.

"This gun has protected us. We need to carry weapons and maybe Carl might be a little too young but a small weapon might not hurt. The axe wasn't the best idea but he needs a form of self defense too." I state crossing my arms.

"We have your father and the other guys to protect us and carry around weapons. He doesn't need one."

"It's not just about protecting him. It's about how he feels. He might feel safer with a knife in his back pocket in case anything goes wrong."

"I'm not going to continue arguing with you. He doesn't need a weapon and he won't get one. I'll talk to your father about you having that gun too."

"Jesus Christ, you hear yourself? All you ever do is treat me like a damn child-"

"That's because you are one!" She throws her hands up in the air. When I see her angry face I realise she's not going to stop with this and I don't want to get more upset. I'm tired of fighting with her especially about pointless shit. Now I understand how dad feels because she always makes something out of nothing.

"You're right. I'm a child. You're always right, huh?" I say and walk past her. I don't want to be near anyone right now so I walk over to a car a ways away and hop on the hood. I bring my knees up to my chest and rest my chin on them.

Everything that has happened and everything I've done she still wants to treat me like a child. I get that I'm young but treating me like I'm twelve was not okay. All I ever wanted from her and my dad was to be seen as a daughter they could be proud of who was going to college to be something big.   
I wanted them to notice me before this world went to shit, I wanted them to notice that I was going to do big things. I graduated high school with summa cum laude and was top of my class. I involved myself in clubs and extracurriculars which was the reason I got full rides. I wanted to major in sports nutrition, I didn't like to play sports but I loved everything about them and I combined that with my love for nutrition and science. All that seemed to not matter to them. I knew my parents wanted me to stay in Georgia for school, they were both very blunt about that. But Shane was always the one who was urging me to do what I want and if it meant I wanted to go to Alabama I should go. It's like my parents still wanted to keep an eye on me. I was thankful that I was offered full rides because if any of the money was coming out of their pocket I knew they'd force me to stay. I guess in the end I did want to go to Alabama and the thought that consumed me was if this virus didn't break out I'd be leaving. Leaving my family, leaving Shane. That thought scared me. I would have never been with him. I guess something good did come out of all of this. I felt like I was missing a part of me for so long and I had finally found it. I was grateful for that, for Shane.

"Jade?" I lift my head up and see my dad standing to the left of me.

"You find Sofia?" I ask. He sighs looking down and then back up at me shaking his head.

"Trail went cold. We're gonna pick up the search in the morning." He says. That was not good, she would be out there all alone at night in the woods. Chances of her surviving were slim, she is just a child.

"Sounds good." I say not in the mood for talking.

"You okay?" He asks as he climbs up and sits next to me taking off his hat.

"Got into it with mom." I say.

"She seems to love that, huh?" He sighs and then add, "What was it about?"

"I'm just tired of you guys treating me like I'm still some little girl. I don't know how much more I have to prove to you guys that I'm not." I huff.

"I didn't know..." He trails off shaking his head and then looks back at me.

"I didn't realize that was what we were doing. I've just been trying to keep you guys safe. I just don't want you to get hurt so I become protective."

"It was before all this happened too though, dad. I did everything for you guys to see me as someone to be proud of but instead it felt like you guys just saw me as a little girl instead of a high school grad going to college with a full ride. When you guys started fighting more often I stepped up for Carl because you didn't see what it was doing to him. I'm not saying I want praise but I just want you guys to understand that I've had to grow up long before all of this started."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I did that. I'm sorry I hurt you like that. I didn't mean to ever treat you like you were anything less than amazing. Seeing you walk across that stage with all those ropes and sashes around your neck was the proudest damn day of my life. Knowing you got full rides made me even prouder, it also made my bank account happy." I laugh through the tears that were starting to form.

"I don't know what caused the serious of conflicts between me and your mom. It just happened and I'm sorry you and Carl had to go through listening with all of that. I'm so glad your brother has you because he looks up to you and you love him more than you love anyone else. I know the feeling is the same for him. I just want you to know I have seen you as a strong beautiful woman for a long time and seeing you always protect Carl tells me you've grown up too." I lean on his shoulder as he wraps his arm around me. This is all I wanted from him, to let me know he saw me. This was all mom had to do but I'm convinced she didn't feel the same way.

"I love you, dad." I say.

"I love you too, baby."

"We'll head to the creek, it's her only landmark." Daryl says as we start packing to go find Sofia. I gather my water, bag, and an axe from the arsenal me and Carl found. While everyone was getting ready I turn to go to Carl who was sitting on the hood of a car as my mom packed some stuff by the RV.

"You comin' with?" I ask him with a smile already knowing the answer because I overheard him begging our parents.

"Yeah!" He states proudly.

"You can be my partner." I say as I hold out my fist to bump and he bumps it.

"Partner?"

"You watch my back and I'll watch yours out there." I say.

"Cool! Like dad and Uncle Shane when they were police officers!" He says excitedly. I grin.

"Exactly!"

"Did I just hear someone say cool Uncle Shane?" I turn around to see Shane walking up with a smirk.

"I think Uncle Shane is a little hard of hearing." I say to Carl and he laughs.

"You are pretty old." Carl says an Shane pretends to be hurt.

"One day you'll be as _old _as me, little man." He says poking Carl in the stomach.

"Let's go!" Daryl says.

We all follow him into the woods starting to spread out just a little. I guess seeing that I was with Carl my mom decided to walk with Carol. Shane was right behind us.

"I miss her." Carl pouts as we look around.

"I know, buddy." I look down at him and sigh knowing Sofia being gone is killing him.

"You know...it seemed to me that you guys were really close...maybe a little too close." I tease and he looks up at me with wide eyes.

"No! We're just friends!" He tries to convince me, I laugh.

"That's what they all say." I say as I step over a log and help him over too. I see Shane hop over it behind us.

"I swear!"

"Fine, how about at school? Anyone there?" I continue the conversation hoping it'd keep his mind off this situation we're in.

"No, not really. What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Did you have a boyfriend?" I laugh at his question.

"I did a long time ago."

"Was he the one you snuck in the house when everyone was sleeping?" I whip my head in his direction and he has a big smile on his face.

"Wha- how did you?" I shake my head confused. I never would have guessed that he saw that. It was really late one night and we couldn't go back to his dorm because of his roommates so I snuck him in. He was just some random college boy who I occasionally hooked up with.

"I got up to use the bathroom. I saw you two kissing." He scrunches up his face in disgust.

"Yeah, that was just my friend."

"Friends kiss don't eachother? I'm not stupid, I know what was happening." My eyes widen at his words, who the hell corrupted him?

"Okay, we're done talking about this." I huff and push him forward a little so he will stop smiling at me.

"Yeah we are." Shane says from behind us. I turn to look at him and he tilts his head waiting for me to say something. I roll my eyes laughing. He gets jealous easily.

"Uncle Shane, did you have a girlfriend?" Carl says as he turned his head a few times while he was walking to look at him.

"No, buddy. I was a single man, you're one too, be proud of that." I turn my head to see him smirking.

"Yeah girls are tough." Carl sighs as if he knows the hardships of relationships.

"Hey," I poke his neck and he laughs. Suddenly we're hearing bells and Rick and Daryl lead us to the noise as we start to pick up our pace. We come across a church but to no avail still no Sophia. 

"Me and Shane will stay back and keep looking around here. You guys need to track back to the highway." Rick explains.

"I want to stay. She's my friend." Carl says. Our parents look at each other till finally Lori nods and gives him a hug and kiss and then does the same to Rick.

"Be safe, buddy." I say and pull him in for a hug. I hug my dad too and then I pull Shane in for a hug.

"Be careful." I whisper into his ear and pull away. He nods. We all walk away back from the way we came.

After an hour of walking I still can't get the gunshot out of my head. We heard it awhile ago but I can't help but worry, I can tell my mom is too. Why just one gunshot? It didn't make sense. If it was a walker they'd put it down quietly. A noise breaks me out of my thoughts and we all turn around to see a woman on a horse, she stops right in front of us.

"Lori Grimes?" The girl asks frantically.

"I'm Lori." My mom says and looks to me worriedly.

"You have to come with me now. There's been an accident. Carl's been shot." Just like that my world starts to crumble. I freeze up and noise becomes fuzzy to the point where I don't notice that they had taken off already. I try to breath but it feels as though my airway has been compromised. I fall to my knees choking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jealous Shane... and oh oh, Carl's shot.


	11. XI.

_"Sometimes things happen and we can't do anything about it."_   
  
  
  
  
  


**XI.**   
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Jade... she's having a panic attack." I don't know who said it but someone falls in front of me and puts their hands on my shoulders. I look up to see Glenn.

"Hey, Jade. It's going to be fine. Breath with me, watch me breath." He calmly speaks and I do as he says, I watch his chest rise and even though I can't concentrate entirely on his breathing I finally let mine slip back into regular inhales after a few minutes.

"There you go." He nods and I swallow hard as the world starts to come back to me or rather I come back to the world. I stand up with help from him and Daryl.

"We need to get back to the highway already so we can go to the farm." Daryl says. I don't realize what farm he's talking about until they explain that was where the woman had taken my mom. I didn't even realize she had given them this information.

When we get back Daryl decides it's best if some people stay back in case Sophia comes back. Me, Glenn, and T-dog hop into Carol's car to go to the farm. T-dog had cut himself pretty badly earlier when we were looking for things so he needed to get help. Glenn drives us according to whatever directions he has heard from the woman.

My mind starts to race, how could he have gotten shot? He had the best protection with him, how is it that he got shot? He's just a little boy, he doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve to die this way. He needs to experience growing up and I want to watch it happen. I feel like I've only had so little time with him, he's my baby brother, he needs to be okay.

We pull up the house and I quickly hop out and run up the steps. I stop myself because I don't know if I should knock or walk in, I don't know how the world works in this kind of way anymore. Glenn and T catch up and stand right behind me.

"Do we knock or?" Glenn asks.

"You guys close the gate on your way in?" We turn to see a woman sitting on the porch chair, she then stands up, I notice that she was the one who was on the horse.

"Yes, we did." Glenn states.

"Is my brother okay?" I ask her. She sighs.

"Let's go in." She steps in first and holds the door open for us. She motions toward the open door to our left and I walk in. Tears spring to my eyes seeing Carl lying there.

"Jade." My mom stands up from the chair next to the bed and pulls me in for a hug. I cry into her shoulder as she strokes my hair.

"What happened?" I ask through sobs. She pulls away and wipes under my eyes.

"One of their people were hunting and shot at a deer, bullet went straight through it and hit Carl." My dad says from his seat. I see a cotton ball on his inner elbow which I can only assume that means he drew blood.

"You his sister?" The man who was just checking Carl's heartbeat asks me. He was an older man with white hair and he was dressed in a button up with suspenders. I nod.

"What's your blood type?"

"O Neg." I say.

"Perfect, we shouldn't be drawing any more blood from your dad." He states.

He has me sit in a chair, another lady comes in and swipes my arm with alcohol to stick the needle in.

"We're going to need a lot more." He says almost warning me to what I'm about to get into.

"Take as much as you have to, I don't care." I say as the lady sticks in the needle I look around and realize Shane isn't here.

"Where's Shane?" I ask.

"Carl needs a respirator, him and one of their guys went to get one from a school not far from here." My dad says. I freeze. Shane was out there right now in the dark in danger trying to get something that Carl needed to live. I had to admire him, he cared so much about Carl. I try not to let worry consume me as my thoughts are now on Shane.

"How long ago did they leave?" I ask.

"A long time ago. They should've been back by now." He looks extremely worried and I know how he feels. Hearing that makes me want to cry. There's so many things that could go wrong.

"I'm sure he'll be fine." Glenn says shrugging. Sending me a small smile. I silently thank him with a nod.

"Yeah, he's a tough son of a bitch." T states. I don't have it in me to worry about what my parents think about them consoling me over Shane. They were being good friends and I really appreciated it especially in this moment.

The woman directs them out of the room as I continue to give blood. I can feel it faintly starting to make me a little heavy but I ignore it.

It had been thirty minutes since I've given blood and I was currently sitting on a chair outside of Carl's room. The woman on the horse who had introduced herself as Maggie had made me a sandwich to keep up my strength. When I heard coughing from the room I quickly hop off the chair. I feel dizzy as soon as I do but I push past it and go inside. Carl is awake. Our parents crouch over him and when he turns to look at me he smiles. Hershel the doctor backed away to let us have space.

"Jade." He says. I don't cry knowing that he doesn't't need to see me cry. I quickly make my way over to the other side of the bed and take his hand in mine.

"J, you should've seen it." He talks with so much joy in his voice you wouldn't of known he was in pain.

"Seen what?" I ask him with a smile, tears starting to well up in my eyes.

"The deer. It was so beautiful. It-" He stops talking and he freezes.

"What's going on?" My mom questions Hershel. I start to panic when Carl begins shaking.

"He's having a seizure. He has to just go through it. We can't stop him." He explains. I back away holding my hand to my mouth as I start to cry.

"He needs more blood." Hershel states.

"Take mine." My dad says holding out his arm.

"Not from you. You've had way too many transfusions today." Hershel says and then turns to me, "I need blood from you."

"Of course." I hold my arm out to him and he goes through the process until there's a needle in my vein again.

"We can't wait much longer. We're going to have to do the surgery now or he's just going to slip away." Hershel says to my parents. I bite my thumb hard as tears start to fall again. Shane still wasn't back with the respirator for Carl.

"You have to make a choice." He states. I sit on the chair in the corner watching them nod to Hershel telling him to go through with it. Hershel calls a woman named patricia in and they start setting up. As he was preparing to start we heard a car outside. I quickly stand up and we all walk towards the window. I see Shane driving up in a truck and I sigh in relief for Carl's sake and for his. We all quickly rush out. Shane hands Hershel a backpack.

"And Otis?" Hershel asks him. I can assume that was the man who went with Shane. Shane shakes his head and Hershel sighs but regardless hurries into the house. Rick pulls Shane in for a hug and when they pull apart I'm wrapping my arms around him. I don't care what my parents think. Shane risked his life for Carl and he returned safely.

He wraps his arms around my waist and squeezes.

"You're okay." I whisper.

"I'm okay." He says. I pull away from him and wipe my tears. My parents started to walk inside and we follow. Once we're inside Maggie comes up to where me and Shane were standing by the door when my parents walked into Carl's room. She hands Shane some clothes.

"You can shower upstairs. Third door on your right."

"Thank you." He says and she nods and walks away.

"I'll be back down, darling. Carl'll pull through." He says. I hug him one more time before he limps up the stairs. I go back into the living room and take a seat to wait. We wait for what seems like hours till finally Hershel is stepping out of the room.

"He's stable and will make a full recovery." My parents pull me into a hug as we all smile through our tears.   
  


_Shane's pov_

"Shane, are you... your hair." I turn to see Jade walk in the room just as I had finished putting on the clothes Maggie had given me. The jeans were a little too baggy and the red plaid shirt was also a little too big but I didn't mind. Jade closes the door before walking over to me.

"Don't like it?" I ask. I decided to shave it all off, the heat was no joke these days and after what happened tonight it seemed like the best choice.

"No it's not that, just different is all. A good different though." She smiles.

I pull her to me and hug her leaning down to put my head into her neck.

"Talk to me." She says as she pulls away. She pulls me to sit down on the bed in the room. She grabs my hand in hers and starts rubbing her thumb along my palm. Her touch calms me down.

"I... I couldn't save him. There were so many surrounding us and we were runnin' and then he tripped and fell and I couldn't do anything... it was too late... one got ahold of him and I just... I ran." I explain. The guilt was eating me alive. Lying to her, lying to the family of Otis. I did what I had to do. I shot him to save myself and to save Carl. I shot him to get back to my girl and although I'm grateful to be here with her I can't imagine what she would think of me if she knew. I couldn't tell her, at least not yet.

"Hey," she tilts my head to look at her.

"That wasn't your fault. Sometimes things happen and we can't do anything about it. You both went so that Carl could live, you both knew the risk. Don't do this, Shane. Don't blame yourself." She cups my face in her hands and I lean into her right hand. She was wrong, it's my fault he's dead. I killed him and now I have to live with it. Her words and touch still make me feel a bit better.

She places a kiss on my nose and pulls me into her. I lean my head on her shoulder as she rubs her thumb along the nape of my neck, my stress and anxiety starting to slowly leave my body from her touch. She always knew what to say to make something better, she was always good like that. She had taken care of me even before the dead came back, she was always there for me just listening to my problems and she always had an answer for everything.

My girl knew how to make me feel better and she knew how to take care of me. It was why we went together so well, we understood each other.

*  
  


"We'll start looking first thing tomorrow. Actually get this thing organized." My dad says to us. Me, Daryl, Shane, Andrea, and Maggie stand around a map Maggie had brought us of the land. It was very helpful considering we didn't know where the hell we were or where the hell to look.

"You going out tomorrow?" My dad asks me as the group walks away except for Shane.

"Yeah, of course." I say leaning on the hood of the car.

"You sure?" He questions me.

I sigh, "just say what you want to say."

"I don't know if you should be going out there, we're splitting everyone in two and I don't know how I feel about you going out there with just one other person."

I let out a half suppressed laugh

"Guess that talk we had the other day did not get us anywhere." I cross my arms.

"Jade, that's not what I meant." He places a hand on his hip sighing.

"Right..." I don't feel like fighting right now, it wasn't totally necessary to go looking with them tomorrow. Two of Hershel's people volunteered to help look anyways. I would just keep Carl as he was still on bed rest recovering. Sounded better anyway. Although, I wanted to find Sophia my mind wouldn't shut up about the fact that she really could be dead. It's been days since she got lost, she's only twelve, how could she survive this long?

"Jade... " He tries but I just walk away. I go over to where Carol is hanging clothes to dry.

"Need some help?" I ask her.

"Sure, thanks." She smiles lightly at me. I can see how this is treating her, she's not doing okay by any means. Everytime I see her I see tears in her eyes, Sophia is on her mind all the time no doubt about it. I can't imagine what she must be going through right now.

"So, how are things with you and Shane?" She asks me as I pick up a wet shirt and hang it. I look at her confused as to why we're talking about my relationship. She looks down then back up at me.

"I just want to get my mind off it." She explains. I smile.

"We're good. I wish we didn't have to hide."

"Do you think maybe you should try telling your parents?"

"I don't know. I don't think it's a good idea. Even if we did come out I don't think I could be with him in the way I want." I sigh.

"How do you mean?"

"I mean I don't think my parents would like seeing me kiss him and just be with him out in the open." I wish more than anything I could have that kind of normalcy with Shane but something tells me that could never happen.

"Honey, you want my honest opinion?" She stops what she's doing and looks at me.

"Yes?"

"Screw them. I like your parents but they do not get to decide how you live your life. If you want to be with Shane that's your business. I see how you are with him. I never had that with Ed. He cares for you, he protects you. Your parents will get that eventually." I laugh at her boldness and she actually smiles.

"You're right. I just have to find a way to go about it.."

"Lucky for you, you have Shane."

After I helped Carol I decided to take a little break from everything. I had seen the ugly green hyundai Shane fixed up when we were on the highway and I walk towards it and get up on the hood. It was parked under a tree so the shade felt good. I lay there for a while till someone interrupts me.

"Peach?" Glenn comes up to me with a basket full of peaches. I quickly grab one and he sends me a weird smile and walks off. I take a bite into the fruit.

"What are you doing?" I sit up when I hear the voice to see Shane standing in front of me. Although I really loved his hair, the shaved look was doing something to me.

"Enjoying this beautiful day." I say. It wasn't extremely hot today like the days prior. The wind made for a cool breeze and laying under the shade made it all the more better.

"Where'd you get that?" He nods to the peach in my hand.

"Glenn. You want some?" I hold up the fruit and as he goes to grab it I pull it away and take a bite.

"Sweetheart... " He warns me with a smirk tugging on his lips. I look around to see that my parents are not outside and anyways, the tree blocked a good majority of us.

"Come here." I say sliding down the car a bit toward him, he ends up between my legs. I take one more look around before pulling him in for a kiss. When I pull back I take another bite of my peach smirking as some juice trails down my chin. I wipe it up with my thumb and suck it into my mouth. I bring him in for another kiss. He grabs the back of my head pulling me closer to him as his tongue slides into my mouth. Fuck, I missed this. When he pulls away he sucks on my bottom lip for a second and then backs off licking his lips.

"Tastes sweet, huh?" I raise my brow smirking.

"Very. Gonna have to get you alone again soon." He says running his hands up and down my thighs. I hold the peach to his mouth and he looks at me suspiciously before he takes a bite into it.

"I'm looking forward to it." I bring my foot around his thigh to pull him back into me and I lean into his neck and put my mouth right at his ear.

"Need to taste you next time." I softly kiss his ear and then pull away.

"Fuck, baby. Can't just rile me up and not do anything about it."

"Oh I'll do something about it. Just not right now." I hop off the hood of the car.

"Meet me here again before dinner." I tell him and walk away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh? ;)


	12. XII.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ones gonna sting you a little...   
Warnings: Sexual content

_"I'd rather have you this way than not have you any way at all."_  
  
  
  
  


**XII.**  
  
  
  
  


Just as planned Shane walks up to the car I was leaning against. It was dark out but the light from the house helped us see.   
"Hey, baby." He says and I quickly pull him in for a kiss. The kiss is fast and desperate, we were both hungry for the other having not been this close in a few days.

"We're going to do it out here?" Shane smirks and looks around as we pull away.

"No, we're not having sex." I state and pull my hands away from his neck. He looks at me confused.

"What are we-" he stops his question when I get on my knees and start to work his belt buckle.

"Oh god." He mumbles. I smirk up at him as I pull his jeans and boxer briefs down.   
I grab his member in my hand and he moans.  
I start at the base and lick slowly up, he stares me down.

"Tell me what you want." I lick his tip and he hisses.

"Want your mouth, baby."   
I take him in my mouth and slowly slide down his shaft working my tongue on him. He's huge and I don't know if I'll be able to get him in all the way but I sure try. His hand tightens in my hair making me work harder. I repeat the process until I work up a face pace and I'm bobbing my head up and down.

"So good." He groans.  
He thrusts up into my mouth after awhile and I gag as he hits the back of my throat, regardless I keep going.

"Baby, I'm gonna come. Might wanna pull off now." He says slowing down his movements but I grab the back of his thighs and pull him in my mouth further.

"You want it?" He asks with wide eyes. I nod my head as best as I can and he groans. He works up his pace again until finally I feel him throb on my tongue and then he's letting go.

"Fuck yes, baby!" He shoots into my mouth. Once he's done he lets go of my head and I pull back. He looks down at me and I smirk and swallow everything he had given me. Some was dripping down my chin so he swiped his thumb and before he could pull it away I grabbed his hand and sucked on the thumb.

"My dirty girl." He tilts my head up to look at him and he leans down and places a kiss on my lips and then helps me off the floor. He pulls up his pants and buckles his belt.   
"  
Have fun?" I ask as I place my hands around his neck.

"Yeah I did. You're good with your mouth, darling." He traces my lip with his thumb.

"Mmm, I've had a lot of practice." I joke. He slaps my ass hard and I let out a hiss.

"Told you not to talk about that." I laugh at his expression.

"Guess I don't like to listen." I shrug.

"Guess'll have to punish you." He says grabbing my ass and squeezing. I moan and but my lip.

"Gonna spank me, Officer?"

"Might have to."

"Looking forward to it. But until then, we should get inside, they should be starting dinner soon. It already looks bad that we both aren't there."

"But you didn't get off." He states.

"No time. Let's go, my parents are going to start   
wondering." I say as I pull his hand so we can start walking to the house.

"If they ask I'll just tell them I had myself buried in your throat." He jokes.

"Shane!" I slap his shoulder.

"Jade, are you going shooting today?" Carl comes up to me and asks as I was sketching. Beth, Maggie's younger sister offered me her old sketchbook and some pencils after she saw me just sitting around after chores. I wasn't the best but I figured it was something for me to do.

"I am, why, little man?" I ask as I shut the book closed with the pencil inside. I was leaning against a tree as he stood in front of me.

"I want to learn how to shoot."

"Carl, you know that's not up to me. Shane is the one   
teaching everybody and I don't think mom and dad will be okay with it."

"Could you talk to them? They'll listen to you." I snort at that.

"Buddy, I can try but I can't make any promises." He nods his head and sighs. As he was walking off I heard something clank and I saw he was walking weird on his right leg.

"Carl?" He turns around and I motion him to come back. He walks back and I watch his leg.

"What do you have?" I question him. He lifts up his shirt and I see a pistol. Fuck. I quickly stand to my foot and pull it out of his waist.

"Where did you get this?" I ask him as I check the cylinder, it's fully loaded. Oh god.

"The RV. Please don't tell mom and dad!" He begs. I tuck the gun behind me in my jeans and run my hand down my face.

"Carl," I bend down to talk to him.

"You know I have to. I really really don't want to but you can't just go around stealing guns like this. It's not safe." I hold his hands in mine and he looks upset but nods.

"Hey, I'll be right there with you though, okay? I won't just leave you with them."

"Okay."

"Come on." We walk side by side to the main set of camp where I see our parents talking with Shane. I walk up and they look at us. Carl looks up at me and I sigh knowing he's about to get in so much trouble.

"Carl had this. It's fully loaded." I say as I pull out the gun. Moms eyes widen and dad puts a hand over his face.

"Carl Grimes, where did you get this?" Lori asks taking the gun from me.

"The RV." He says and grabs my hand. I squeeze it to let him know I'm here.

"Dale!" Shane yells out to Dale by the RV and he comes walking over.

"Carl got this gun from the RV." Lori says holding it up. Dale sighs and shakes his head.

"He said he wanted a walkie, you didn't send him?" Dale questions and I mentally groan knowing this just got worse for Carl.

"So on top of everything else you lied?" She asks him and he just looks down at the ground.

"Told me he wants to learn how to shoot." I tell them waiting to see how they would feel about that.

"It's none of my business but I'd be happy to do it. But it's your call." Shane tells them.

"I'm not okay with it." Lori shakes her head and both Shane and Rick give her a look.

"Don't make me out to be the unreasonable one, he just got shot and now you want him to go around shooting?" She complains to Rick.

"It's better than him being afraid of guns." Rick suggests.

"He's just a kid, Rick. I don't want him walking around with a gun." She says.

"Mom, I know it's not a toy. I'm sorry I disappointed you but I want to look for Sophia and I want to defend our camp. I can't do that without a gun." Carl speaks up. I have a proud sister moment seeing him own up to his mistake and act mature about it. He really wants to help and you can see it.

"Look, Shane's the best instructor I know. He helped me teach Jade and she's a decent shot." Rick explains.

"Decent?" I act offended to lighten the mood and take some attention off Carl.

"You could use some work." Shane suggests and I turn to look at him to see him trying to hide his smirk as he looks down on the ground.

"Whatever. I'll be out there too, mom. You know I'll keep an eye on him." I tell her trying to help Carl's case. After he got shot it's like we put the whole arguing behind us for now.   
She sighs and bends down to talk to Carl.

"You need to treat this with responsibility and maturity. If I find out from anyone in this camp that you have not lived up to our expectations-"

"He will." Rick cuts her off. She nods at him and then gives Carl a kiss on the head.

"Alright, let's head out then." Shane says.

I ride with him, dad and Carl in the Hyundai and everyone fills up two other cars considering some of Hershel's people wanted to learn too.  
We drive in silence for a good while until finally Shane pulls into an area he had seen the other day. We all get out and Shane and Rick start loading up the guns and explaining a few things before they start handing them out. I have Carl stand by me and on my other side is T-dog. Shane explains things to Carl as we all start to shoot. I stop every once in awhile to see Carl shoot.

"Jade did you see that! I hit it!" He explains excitedly and I smile.

"I did! Nice job! Soon you'll be a pro just like dad." I explain and his grin grows.

"Alright, girl. Let's see what you got." Shane stands between me and Carl and nods for me to shoot. I shoot 2 out of the 3 bottles that were standing up.

"Lean forward a little and move this way." He grabs my hips and moves me himself. I bite my lip at the contact and decide to play stupid because let's face it, Shane's a hands on teacher.

I bend my arms weirdly and move my body a certain way that I know is not right. I hear him chuckle from behind me and next thing I know one of his arms wrap around mine to my grip on the gun and the other holds my hip. His head is right by mine now and I invite the sensation that course through me from his touch.

"Now, how did you suddenly forget everything you were just doing a few minutes ago?" He whispers in my ear and I smirk.

"Hmm, no idea. Need you to teach me." He moves my body and arms to the right position sometimes lingering a little longer than he has to.

"You know your daddy is watching us." He says in my ear.

"I honestly don't give a shit anymore." I groan tired of the constant hiding and worrying every time I get within an inch of Shane.   
He laughs and pulls away.

"Shoot." He says and I do exactly that. This time knocking down the last bottle I had left down.

"Atta girl."

"I had a good teacher." I say shrugging and switch the safety on.   
We stay for another good hour until everyone is packing up

"I think I'm ready for a more advance class?" I suggest to Shane as he checks some guns magazine.

"Yeah, I thin you are. We'll stay back, let the others go on back." He says and I nod and lean against the trunk of the car as he loads the guns.

"Today was good,Carl enjoyed it and he did pretty well." Rick says as he hands Shane a few guns.

"He's a quick learner, so is Jade. Gonna have her stay back and help her some more." Shane says. T-dog and comes up to give Shane his gun.

"Shane, I don't know how I feel about that." He says putting his hand on his hip looking a little skeptic.

"Why? She's a good shot and with a little extra help she'll be a pro." He suggests.

"That's not what I meant." My dad says giving me a look. Before I could talk T-dog steps in.

"Let her be a badass, boss." He says to my dad. I send him a smile silently thanking him for trying to convince my dad.

"I already had this talk with you, Rick." Shane says.

"Fine, be back before dark." He says and walks toward one of the other cars.

"Thanks, T." I say as he smirks and looks at us both.

"Enjoy." He says raising his brows and I laugh. They all load up and eventually drive off.

"Come on, girl. We'll set up over there." He nods to an opening in the woods and he grabs a gun and some rope.

"Gonna tie me up, officer?" I ask as he shuts the trunk and we walk toward the opening.

"Tempting, but no."

He ends up tying the rope to a chunk of wood and then swings the rope over a thick branch allowing the wood to hang.

"A moving target." He explains the reason for his set up. He hands me his gun and makes sure I'm set up right before he goes over to the wood and pushes it making it swing. He backs up and then motions for me to shoot. I keep my stance and try to line up the target and once I think I have it I shoot.

"Try again." He says after I miss it. I try again and when he checks the wood for any bullets he shakes his head.

"Still a virgin." He says.

"I think you out of all people know I'm not." I tease and hold up my gun again.

"Jesus Christ." Shane says after I still miss the target. I was getting annoyed at myself now for not being able to nail it and Shane making comments here and there was just making it worse.

"I can't do it."

"That's bullshit, go again." He demands. I roll my eyes but hold the gun up.

"Take everything out of the equation. Don't think, just do." I take a deep breath and as soon as I think I've lined it up I shoot. Some wood pieces chip off and I smile and turn to Shane to see him with a grin on his face too.

"Good, again." I'm able to hit it a few more times of course I miss some shots here and there but Shane gives me some tips throughout it and I learn.

"I found a lead on Sophia, I think you're ready to back me up." He says as he starts to untie the rope and bundle it up.

"Sounds good." I say as we walk back to the car and I put my gun tucked in my jeans on my waist. Once we get to the car we hop in and he starts it up and we drive off. He places his hand on my thigh and I put mine over his.

"Where's this lead at?" I ask.

"Just a ways up the road, it's a small neighborhood." He explains. We drive in comfortable silence for awhile until finally he's turning and driving down the stretch where we start to see houses. He pulls into the neighborhood and there doesn't seem to be any walkers in sight. We start at the house on the corner deciding to work our way around. After we get to the third house though we begin to realize that Sophia was never hear.

"Walkers." Shane says as soon as we walk out of the garage of a house. There's tons of them everywhere and my anxiety spikes.

"Cover that street and I'll cover the car." He starts shooting and I quickly do the same. I hit a few dead in the head and other it takes me two times before nailing them. We slowly start to make our way over to the car till finally we get in and Shane is speeding off back toward the farm.

"Shane, stop the car." I tell him. He looks at weirdly but he doesn't ask questions and rolls the car to a stop and then puts the break.

"What-"

"I need you." I say as I start to climb over the console. He smiles and helps me and pulls me on top of him. I kiss him hard, our tongues collide and I roll my hips into him. When I pull away from him I awkwardly try to slide my jeans and underwear down. Once I get them down he unbuckles his belt and slide his jeans down and briefs enough to take his member out. I grab him and line him up with me and I slowly sink down on him.

"Damn, baby." He says as he grabs the back of my neck and pulls me in for another kiss. I moan into it as I start to roll my hips faster.

"Oh, Shane!" I yell out as he thrusts particularly hard up into me.

"That's it, darling. Take it." He looks into my eyes as he meets my thrusts with strong thrusts of his own.

"Fuck, Shane. It feels so good." I moan as I grab onto his shoulders for support instead of his chest. The new angle gives me better balance and I grab his shoulders as I roll and bounce faster. 

"Yeah, just like that." He's grunting now and I can tell he's close which I'm not complaining because I am too.

"I'm gonna come." I tilt my head back as I feel it starting to take over me and when he thrusts into me hard one more time I let it go. He groans as well and without warning I feel him climax inside of me. I roll my hips a few more times before finally stopping. I rest my head on his as we try to catch our breaths. I pull my underwear and jeans back up my legs and then Shane does the same considering we didn't have much room to work with. Once our pants are back on I move so I'm sitting on his lap and I lean into him. He places his arms around me and I tuck my head underneath his chin.

"Baby, that was amazing." He says.

"Mmm, I missed you." I pout. He laughs and starts to play with my hair.

"I missed you too, sunshine." I smile at the new name.

"I don't want to do this anymore, Shane." I sigh as I run my fingers over his clothed chest.

"What?" The worry in his voice makes me realize how it sounded so I pull away to look at him.

"No! That's not what I meant. I want this. I'm just tired of sneaking around." I say as I stroke his cheek liking the way his stubble feels.

"Me too. I don't know what else to do though, baby."

"What if we just tell them? I know they're against it but honestly they can't do anything about it. It's my life." I bite my lip waiting for his response.

"I don't know. I don't want to lose your dad and if he finds out about this then he'll hate me." I feel a pang in my chest. But if we keep hiding I'll go insane.

"He won't, he'll be pissed but he'll see that I'm happy with you."

"Darling, I don't think it's the best idea. I don't want to mess up the good thing we have going." He says.

"What, like getting your dick wet in private and then ignoring one another in public. Sounds like such a good thing." I get off of him and climb back over to the passenger seat. I don't know what overcame me but I was upset. It felt like he cared more about my dad's feelings in all of this then he did mine. I'm not too keen on them knowing either because I know it will be bad but it won't be like that forever. They can hate us but eventually they will come around to the idea of me and Shane. I liked sneaking around at first and at times I still do because it can be exciting but I want to be able to sleep beside Shane every night without having to worry if my parents are going to come to the tent for Shane and catch me in there. I want to be able to kiss him whenever I feel like it or because he went on a run and I missed him or because he needs to go put his life in danger and I want to kiss him goodbye. I just want to be with him in that way and I don't know if he wants the same.

"Jade, don't be that way. You know I love you. I just don't want to tell them if it's really going to affect our relationship. I'd rather have you this way than not any way at all." He grabs my hand in his.

"I'm not being any way. I want to be with you but when does the hiding end? We just gonna go on forever without telling them? I can't do that, Shane. I won't."

"No, but-"

"But what? But we wait and see what happens? We wait for the right time? That's a never ending cycle and you know it." I take my hand out of his and run it over my face and push my hair back.

"Jade, I don't know what you want from me here. I want you but your parents aren't going to take to this well."

"Jesus Christ. It doesn't matter what they think in the end."

"Yes, it does. You just don't care because they're your parents and you're a chi..." He stops what he was going to say and my heart hurts knowing what he thinks now. The one person who I thought looked at me as though I was mature and an adult. The one person who I confided in about my parents always treating me like a kid. Here he was saying it.

"Yeah, some child you fucked."

"Baby-"

"Just fucking drive, Shane. I'm tired." I lean my arm against the window and lean my head against my arm as he sighs and starts up the car and drives. I don't want to cry but what he said hurt. He knows how I feel about all of that and here he was trying to say I just wanted to go against my parents because I was their kid and that's what kids do. Although, that could be farther from the truth. I don't care if they know because I love him that much and the world has changed, there's no more rules or laws. Hell even if there were me and Shane would still be able to be together. Regardless, I love him and that love means something to me. My parents disapproving of the way I feel for someone is honestly the last thing I care about. You can't help who you love, it just happens.

We pull up into the farm and Shane parks.

"Jade-" I get out of the car and walk away. I wasn't trying to be a bitch but I just needed some space right now and if I cried I didn't want him to see it.


	13. XIII.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating in awhile, I've been extremely busy! Enjoy!

_"I want whatever gives me you. Don't you see that?_"  
  
  
  


**XIII.**   
  
  
  
  


Waking up in my tent alone felt foreign. I had gotten so use to sleeping in Shane's tent and saying I was sleeping in my own tent. I had one set up with my stuff but I never actually spent the night in it.   
I hear commotion going on outside so I get up and slip on my clothes. Once I get outside I see Carol has cooked some breakfast as usual.  
"Morning, honey." She says and starts to serve me a plate.

"Thanks, Carol." I smile at her and take a seat by Glenn. Shane sat on the other side of the circle by T and I could feel his eyes on me.

"How's it going, Glenn?" I ask him. I hadn't really spoken to him in a while. He was always going on runs with Maggie and from what I could tell they were totally hooking up.

"Good, everything's good? Why?" He looks worried and scared. I look around to see everyone minding their own business as I look back over to Glenn and scoot closer to him.

"Glenn, what's wrong?" I ask.

"I need to tell the group something." He states, wringing his hands together.

"Okay?" He stands up and takes in a deep breath.

"Uh, guys." Everyone looks his way, "there's walkers in the barn." My eyes widen and I almost choke on the eggs I was eating. Everyone is now alert and Rick stands up.

"What?"

Glenn took us down to the barn and sure enough there was walkers, if you listened closely you could hear their growls. I can't believe we've been just minding our own business and sleeping while there was walkers this close to us.

"This is not okay, man." Shane says.

"No, it's not. But this isn't our land." Rick tells him.

"We either leave or we take these walkers out. We've been talking about going to Fort Benning for awhile." Shane explains as the rest of the group looks on.

"We can't leave." Rick states.

"Why not?"

"Because my daughter is still out there." Carol speaks up. I felt bad but it had been a little over a week, I don't think there was any way Sophia could have survived out there for that long but I wasn't going to say that to her.

"Carol..." Shane sighs, his eyes meet mine and I shake my head already knowing he was going to try and suggest that Sophia might be dead. Sure we might all be thinking it but doesn't mean we need to throw it in Carol's face as if she wasn't thinking it too.

"Look, I ain't okay with this. We sleep right over there. We need to talk to Hershel." Shane explains.

"I'll talk to him, for now we have people keep watch around here. Just because we haven't had any accidents yet doesn't mean it can't happen." Rick explains to the group which calms everyone down. We all eventually go back to what we were doing but now we were more aware of the dangers that were next to us. 

"We're going on a run, wanna come?" Maggie asks me as she stands next to Glenn.

"Sure, what do we need?" I ask. Maggie hands me the list and I look over it nodding and then handing it back to her.

"Sounds good. Let me grab my stuff." I tell her, they nod. I walk towards my tent and go in. I grab the gun Shane had me keep the other day. Hershel wasn't a big fan of guns on his property so I kept it in here. I check the magazine to make sure I have bullets and once I see I do I click the magazine back into the gun. I tuck it into my jeans and then grab my knife and slide it into the holder on my jeans. I exit my tent and walk back toward Maggie and Glenn.

"We were thinking we should drive there." Glenn says as he holds up the keys to Carol's station wagon.

"Sounds fine to me." We all get into the car and once Maggie starts driving I realize I didn't even tell anyone where I was going. I'm sure maggie and glenn told people so I don't worry about it.

"So, why'd you two ask me along on this? Don't you want some time alone?" I smirk as soon as they give looks to one another.

"I don't know-"

"Save it, Glenn. I'm not stupid. You're talking to the queen of sneaking around. I know it when I see it."

"We're not telling anyone. My dad doesn't need to know." Maggie speaks up and I smile.

"We're in the same boat then."

"Who?" Maggie questions but before I can answer Glenn beats me to it, "Shane."

"Why can't your parents know?" She asks as she turns down a street and I start to see strips of small shops.

"He's my dads best friend and he's also thirty four. Not that it matters in this world anymore."

"I don't see the problem." She shrugs as she stops the car in front of a shop. I knew I liked her. We all get out and I keep my hand on my knife and my head on a swivel. We wonder in and check the aisles, once we see that the coast is clear we start getting all the stuff on the list. I venture further towards the back to look around. As I'm looking at the variety of empty shelfs that only hold a few things I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around expecting Glenn or Maggie but I shout as I realize it's a walker. It growls and I hold its shoulders back trying to keep it away from me. I use one hand to grab the knife in my pocket and I bring it into the walkers skull and it goes down. Maggie and Glenn come running as I catch my breath.

"Jesus, are you okay?" Maggie asks me. I go to answer but more growls cut me off and we look over to my left to see a group of them coming our way. I count five so I figured we could take them. One comes towards me and I plant my knife into its skull while Glenn takes care of another. Maggie stays back and I don't blame her. Two more come for me and as I try to kill one the other one comes closer trying to grab for me, I step back and lose my balance. I fall to the floor but on the way down the side of a shelf cut my arm open. I barely feel it as the adrenaline is coursing through me. One of the walkers gets on top of me and I quickly plunge my knife into the side of its head. The next one falls on top of me and I do the same thing and push them off. I get up and Glenn can't seem to get his knife out of the walkers head and another one is headed straight for Maggie. I quickly grab the walkers shoulders and jam the knife into its skull making him fall to the floor. Glenn finally pulls his knife free and huffs.

"Let's go." Maggie states. I can tell she's pissed off and I can only assume it's because that was a really close call. We get into the car and drive in silence, not knowing what to say. When we pull in and I get out of the car I realize the blood slowly dripping down my arm.

"Shit." I say and turn my arm to look at the cut near on my arm. It's open pretty badly.

"You need stitches." Maggie explains as she notices me looking at my arm.

"I figured." We all start walking toward the house when a voice stops us.

"Where the hell were you?" I turn around to see my parents and Shane behind them and when they see me they look horrified. I can only assume Im covered in a bit of grime and now my hand is all bloody from holding my wound.

"I went on a run with them. We ran into some walkers, no big deal." I shrug.

"You didn't even tell us!" My mom says anger written all over her face.

"Sorry, it was just a quick run."

"A quick run turned into something really bad. What were you thinking?" Shane speaks this time. I want to roll my eyes but I refrain from doing so.

"I was thinking I could help Maggie and Glenn our because they asked." I spit back. This seems to upset Shane even further but he doesn't say anything further.

"She saved my life. We were outnumbered and if she weren't there it could've gone a lot worse." Maggie steps in. I admire her for sticking up to me despite us not really knowing each other all too well.

"We need to get her inside." Glenn says. I don't say anything further and turn around and walk with them into the house. Once inside Maggie calls for her dad and he stitches me up quickly. It hurts like a bitch considering all the adrenaline had faded but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. Once he was done Maggie helped me up and told me to shower. She gave me some wrap to cover my arm and then sent me upstairs. When I step into the hot water everything that just happened hits me. I was so high off adrenaline I couldn't even analyze the moment. I begin to shake lightly as I remember taking out those walkers and almost being bitten. The thought scares me and I try to calm myself down before I send myself into overdrive. I quickly wash up despite wanting to just stand in the warm water all day. Maggie had left out some jeans and a plain black shirt. I slip them on and I realize the jeans are just a little too tight for my hips but they still button. I throw the shirt on and dry my hair with the towel. I slip back in my boots and head downstairs with my dirty clothes.

"Feel better?" Maggie asks me.

"Yeah, thank you."

"No need. You saved my life today." She hesitates for a second before pulling me in for a hug. I was a little surprised by it but nonetheless I hug her back.  
When I walk outside and to my tent it's like my parents knew I was coming out at this time and of course Shane was with them.

"Are you okay?" Rick asks me. I throw my dirty clothes inside my tent for now and face them.

"Yes, I'm fine."

"What were you thinking? You should've told us before you went out." Mom says.

"They just asked me and it slipped my mind. I figured we'd be in and out right away anyways." I shrug.

"Don't leave camp without letting us know first. Please. We just want to make sure you're safe." My dad says. I could understand that and I know I probably should've said something but I wasn't thinking at the time and then it just happened.

"Okay." Is the only thing I say. They walk away once they realize I'm not going to yell or say anything else. Shane sticks around though.

"Can I help you?" I ask him.   
He takes off his police hat and runs his hand down the back of his head.

"Don't be like that."

"What? Like a child?" I sneer.  
He gives me a pointed look and I roll my eyes.

"Jade, I need you to understand something." He steps closer to me and then continues.

"I love you. Let me just be clear on that because we've been saying that shit but I don't think you realize that I'm _in _love with you. Have been for awhile. I'm sorry for what went down yesterday. I said some shit I didn't mean because I was angry and confused. But I need you to not be mad at me right now because you almost got yourself killed today and I want to kiss the ever loving shit out of you right now. I almost lost you and I didn't even know."

"Shane-"

"I'm not finished. I don't know what to do about keeping this a secret. I'm scared your dad will mess this up and I like how we are right now even if it means we have to sneak around. That's what I was trying to get at yesterday. I don't want your parents getting in the way of anything we have."   
Hearing him say he was _in _love with me felt like a dream. He was right, we would say it but I never really knew how exactly he meant it. Knowing he actually cared on a much deeper level than just the fact that we're like family meant a lot to me and answered a lot of questions. I didn't think Shane was just with me for the sex but I didn't know how serious he was about us either. I mean how do you work out things like that in the end of the world? Are those kind of things still the same? I guess they were with me and Shane.

"Shane... " I don't even know where to start with this whole thing.

"I'm in love with you too, okay? I've liked you since I was sixteen. I understand you don't want our relationship to change because of them but it won't if we don't let it."

"That's the thing, sweetheart, it will. Your parents have been very clear on how they feel about us even being friends. If we tell them they will do everything in their power to split us up. Your daddy is my oldest and best friend, that means something to me."

"This means something to me too. Hell, he's my dad, I would be devastated if he was upset with me but he'd eventually come around."

"He won't, baby."

"Okay," I let out a dry laugh and tuck my damp hair behind my ear.

"You win. We won't tell my parents about us because there's nothing to tell anymore." Saying it killed me but I didn't break my expression. I realized that sneaking around isn't what I want because everyone around camp who knew about me and Shane had a point. My parents would have to deal with it and they'd learn to just accept it after awhile. But if Shane didn't want that, I couldn't do this. I wanted to and part of me wants to just continue to hide our relationship but I'm tired of it. This world isn't the same anymore, the last thing anyone should be worried about is who I decide to be with. Life is so short even now more than ever and me and Shane deserve to be with each other in the way we want. But it doesn't even seem like he's getting that.

"Jade, don't do this." He shakes his head.

"I don't know what you want from me."

"I want you to give us a chance."

"The thing is, Shane, I want to give us a chance but it's clear you don't want to."

"Don't say that to me. I've wanted you for-"

"No, stop. You keep talking about how you've always wanted to be with me but now that you've got me you're not willing to fight for us because-"

"I am!"

"No, Shane, you're not. You want to take the easy way out, sneaking around is easy, coming out to my parents is the hard part and you don't want hard, you want easy."

"I want whatever gives me you. Don't you see that?"

"I wish that were true. I can't..." I sigh, "I can't."

"So that's it then?" Seeing his face so hurt makes me almost want to take it all back and say that I will keep sneaking around but I'm not a little girl anymore, I know what I want and I'll be damned if I settle or don't ask for what I want.

"Guess so."

He shakes his head, he's angry now and I can't blame him. He looks like he's contemplating on saying something but instead he just walks off. I enter my tent and that's when the tears start to fall.


	14. XIV.

_"Ain't no one look at you like you a shadow."_   
  
  
  


**XIV.**   
  
  
  


Letting the walkers out of the barn was a group decision made without my father present. Shane had told the group we shouldn't have to worry anymore and the group decided he was right. I for one was against it. No, I didn't like that there was a barn full of walkers by where we slept but as my dad had said before, it isn't our land. Hershel was letting us stay here, we were guests, we do not have the right to go against him regardless of how the world works anymore. Which just brings up another point, we need to keep some humanity and respect. This was a devastating blow to Hershel and his family. You could see it all over their faces as the group kept shooting the walkers as they came out of the barn. Although, I didn't like it, I had helped take them down. It was when the last person to walk out the barn broke us all.

Seeing Sophia walk out, no longer living breathing Sophia, but walker Sophia, that was a hard pill for all of us to swallow. All this time and energy spent into looking for her yet here she was. Daryl almost died for her and there she was, in the barn this whole time. Some of the group believed Hershel knew she was in there but from their faces when she walked out, I could tell they had no idea.

After the incident Carl wouldn't leave my side. At first he was clinging to my mom and as soon as I tried to talk to him he just wanted to be around me and go where I went. I didn't mind, seeing Sophia as a walker made me think what if it was Carl who got lost? My whole world would crash if it was Carl in that position.

"I always thought it was going to be me who found her. I thought I'd find her in a cave somewhere or in a tree and bring her back." He says as we sit up against a tree looking out onto the land. I look down at him to see him just staring off. I know he was hurt, he wanted to find Sophia and he really believed we would find her. He had hope and now I could slowly see hope leaving him.

"You wanted to be the hero." I state and he nods.

"Carl, sometimes heroes don't just save people. Sometimes heroes lead people and have hope. You had hope, that's always a good thing to have."

He sighs, "I guess."

"Hey, you're a hero to me." He smiles at that and I can't help but smile too.

"Carl, can I talk to your sister for a minute?" Shane comes around the tree playing with his cap in his hand. Carl looks at me, I nod. He gets up and walks off back to the house. I look up at Shane and then stand up. It had been two days since our fight and we hadn't spoken since, I cried the past two nights not being able to sleep next to or kiss him.

"You okay?" He asks.

"Doing just fine all things considered."

"Can we talk about us?"

I sigh feeling like we're about to have the same conversation all over again.

"No. I said what I needed to say, Shane." I go to walk away but he grabs my wrist to stop me.

"Please."

"Everything okay here?" My dad asks walking up to us. Shane wasn't his favorite person at the moment seeing as Shane was the one who spoke up and suggested killing the walkers in the barn. That's when Daryl and Andrea agreed and then T-dog, eventually the group was outnumbered.

"Yeah, I was just trying to ask Jade to talk to Maggie. I know we ain't their biggest fans right now but maybe since she's friends with her..." Shane shrugs. I almost snort at the horrible lie. I would never use my friendship with Maggie to negotiate us staying here. I didn't want any of this to happen in the first place.

"And I was telling him no." I told Rick. My sentence having a different meaning that only Shane understood.

"I guess it couldn't hurt to try, Jade." He suggests and I scoff, I honestly thought he would go against whatever Shane had to say right now but I can tell he's desperate. The last thing Hershel told us after the we killed the walkers was that he wanted us off the land.

"No, besides her dad won't listen to her. Seems to be a theme going on around here." I walk away and start walking out in the field trying to get away from all of them for awhile. I eventually found myself stumbling across Daryl and his set up.

"Can I try?" I ask Daryl as he chucked a knife at the tree by his tent.

"The hell you doing over here?" He asks as he gets the knife out and throws it again.

"Was just walking around. I get why you set up camp here, it's quiet." I look around to see his little fire pit he made and his stuff scattered around.

"Do you need something?" Daryl was never one for small talk or one for talking at all really. But he did respect me, that much I knew, so he wasn't all that bad.

"Wanted to see how you were doing." He looks at me confused and scoffs.

"I'm doing just fine." He throws the knife again.

"Are you? You almost died looking for Sophia and now-"

"You think I don't know that? Why are you here?" His voice gets louder and I huff.

"Act all macho all you want but I know seeing Sophia like that hurt. You don't have to admit it but I know. I just wanted to make sure you're okay because believe it or not I care about you and everyone else at this camp despite what you all think of me." He scrunches his face up in confusion and walks over to me.

"And how do we all think of you?"

"Some kid who's following her dad around pretending to help." Although everyone was friendly to me, I knew how they saw me, just like my parents saw me, some kid trying to play grown up.

"You're thick in the head just like your daddy I'll tell you that." He shakes his head and throws the knife again.

"The hell does that mean?" I cross my arms.

"Means you're blind and don't know what's going on."

I wait for him to continue.

"Fine, I'll tell you the truth and then you go run along and leave me alone."

"Okay?" I was confused on what the truth was but I wait as Daryl grabs his knife again and comes back over to me, this time giving me his full attention.

"Ain't no one look at you like you a shadow. I've seen what you can do and so have all them. Hell, if you were to tell everyone what you thought we should do about this mess they'd be behind you."

"Don't fucking patronize me, Daryl."

"I ain't. What you think we should do?"

I amuse him as I answer.

"I think we need to talk to Hershel again, see if we can sort this out. If not then we need to leave because they have weapons and they don't want us having ours which means they have the upper hand and as much as I'd like to think they're good people, they could easily kill us all if they wanted to. I also respect Hershel and his family enough to know that if we're not welcome we should leave."

"You didn't even have to think. Shit like that is what we need. You're friends with T and Glenn, you should know they look to you for answers."

"Daryl, you don't have to-"

"I ain't saying nothing that ain't true. Don't believe it, fine." He goes back to throwing his knives and I huff. Daryl did not seem like the type to make up lies to spare someones feelings at all. Nor did he seem like the type to even tell people how he felt about them. If Daryl is right then I haven't been giving myself enough credit. My parents labeled me a child for so long that I started to think that's what I was and that's how people saw me but maybe I was wrong.

"Can you teach me how to do that?" I ask again. He looks my way and rolls his eyes but hands me the knife nonetheless.

"Hold it like a hammer and stand up straight. And you don't gotta throw it with all your power." I do what he says and he nods at me before I throw it. It doesn't stick in the tree.

"Better luck next time."

"Uh, I'm not leaving till I master it."

"Hell no."

"Too bad." I shrug. This was good for him too, he shouldn't be out here alone especially after what happened with Sophia, I know he was messed up about it. I felt for Daryl, he might be an asshole sometimes but he doesn't have anyone anymore and he wasn't too bad if you could hold a conversation with him. He needs a friend and I'm more than happy to fill that spot.  
  
  


"Hey, can I come in?" I ask Maggie as I opened the door to their house to see her in her living room. She nods and I walk over to her. After spending most of the afternoon with Daryl I figured there was another person I needed to check on. I sit on the couch next to her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want any of this to happen." I tell her.

"I know. I'm sorry too, for Sophia, we really didn't know she was in there." She explains and I mentally sigh at the fact that she isn't mad at me.

"I know." I let out a deep breath.

We sit in silence when Hershel comes walking through. I swallow hard.

"I want your people off my property, you hear me?" He directs towards me.

"Daddy, stop." Maggie says.

"Her and that asian boy can stay but the rest of them I want out." My eyes widen at his statement. I then realize that he knows Maggie cares for us and he knows we've saved her life on our runs.

"Hershel, with all due respect-" I stand up but he cuts me off.

"No. I don't want to hear it anymore."

"Too bad," I say getting closer to him. I don't know what came over me but Daryl's words played in the back of my head. _Ain't no one look at you like you a shadow. _If that's true, Hershel sees me as someone with a respectable opinion, hell, I already have some part of him okay with me if he was offering for me to stay already.

"Listen, I get it, we're the bad guys. We come here and kill those walkers in the barn, your family. The only thing is, they aren't your family anymore. I wish they were, believe me, I do. But they're just not. You don't know what it's like out there, you're living in a lie out here, it's nice and sheltered which is why we want to stay but at least we know whats really out there. The shit we've seen... it's enough to make people want to opt out but yet we're all still here. Fighting, hoping. All were asking for is another chance. We can do better."

He goes to speak but I cut him off.

"Seeing Sophia come out of that barn like that... she was Carl's best friend, I would watch them playing around all the time and doing their homework together, and when I saw her walk out of that barn I realized it could've easily been Carl in that position. But Carl's here and sometimes it's hard to tell if that's better than death because the world out there is worse and he has to grow up in it. Here, he's happy feeding the chickens and petting the horses. Don't send us back out there, don't send him back out there. I promise we'll do better."

I don't hold my breath seeing as this came out of nowhere and I didn't know if he was feeling sympathetic towards us anymore. He just watched his 'family' get gunned down and now here I was asking for my family to have a second chance. The only difference is, he could save us, his family was already gone, too late for saving.

He doesn't say anything, just holds eye contact until he walks away. I bite my lip.

"I'm sorry." I tell Maggie one last time before leaving the house. My plan was not to confront Hershel, hell, I was hoping to avoid him and just see how Maggie was doing.

"Hey, Jade, can you help me with my homework? Mom wants it finished before it gets dark." Carl comes running over to me and says. I pull him in for a hug and although confused at first, he hugs back.

"Sure, lets go sit down." We sit down at one of the picnic benches outside and he opens his book of math equations. There was about another two hours before sunset so he would finish just before dinner.

I start to help him add and subtract and he even gets in a few multiplying and dividing equations right, although it took a bit to teach him. Before I know it an hour has passed and he's done the three pages of work he needed to do. By now everyone has started to gather around the fire where we usually eat dinner, mom made the food today with the help of Andrea seeing as Carol was still recovering from losing Sophia, although she was sitting outside waiting for dinner with us. Everyone takes a seat around the fire as we get handed plates, Shane meets my eye across from me but I look away. I missed him so much but today proved that life is short so what's the point of not doing what you want to do?

We all start collectively eating quietly, no one knowing what to say to each other. That is until Maggie comes out of the house with Hershel right behind her. My stomach stirs as they walk over to us, they're going to kick us out tonight.

"Hershel, I-" Rick goes to speak but Hershel shakes his head.

"Don't. I'm gonna speak and I want ya'll to listen to me loud and clear." Hershel states and it feels like everything gets quieter if that's even possible.

"I welcomed y'all into my home. Gave you shelter, food, and water. My trust was misplaced today when you shot a barn full of my family, a barn that was secure and has been for months now. I ain't gonna forget that." He then turns to Carol, "I'm sorry about your little girl. Otis must have put her in there before he passed, we had no idea." Carol just nods her head.

"Now, I don't know what it's like out there but I know it ain't pretty. I'm willing to let ya'll stay, if you do better. You have a problem with something you talk to me. This ain't gonna work if we all doing our own thing. I'm only gonna give one more chance and if you screw that up you're out for good, no negotiating." Everyone stays quiet for a second after he finishes. I know I wasn't the only one expecting him to tell us to leave again.

"Thank you, Hershel. We-" Rick stands up but Hershel cuts him off again.

"I ain't the one you should be thanking." He says and what he does next surprises me. He turns to me. Everyone looks over and I shift at all the attention now on me.

"I told Jade I wanted ya'll out, she convinced me otherwise. She promised you'd do better and I'm holding her to it." He says and then walks away. I swallow hard. Maggie stays put.

"My daddy is a man of his word. You mess up again and you'll be kicked out." She goes to turn around to leave but then she stops and turns back to us.

"Also, I think you should all thank Jade, she just saved your asses." She says fiercely and then walks away. Everyone stays quiet again but this time they all are looking at me. Daryl meets my eye and it's like I know what he's thinking, _I told you so._

"Jade..." My dad starts to talk but it seems like he doesn't even know what to say. Hell, how would he? He couldn't get through to Hershel but I could?

"Holy shit." T-dog says under his breath.

"What did you say to him?" Andrea asked and that seemed to interest people further, wondering what did I say that Rick didn't to make him change his mind?

"Dude, how the hell did you do that..." Glenn looks in awe.

"Wow..." Dale says shaking his head.

"Thank you." Are the words that really stick out to me, they're quiet and soft but I still hear them and I turn to the voice. Carol. I nod at her.

"Thank you, J." T then cuts in.

"Thanks, J." Glenn smiles at me. I look to Daryl as his voice plays in my head about Glenn and T dog looking to me for answers.

A round of thank you's come out from everyone but not my parents, I don't think anyone noticed and if they do they do't comment on it.

"I promised him we'd do better. If we can't do that I might as well go back to Hershel right now and tell him we're leaving. I'm not breaking this promise." I speak for the first time.

Everyone gets quiet again, Glenn and T dog nod at me like they knew what they had to do and everyone else nods. It's my parents who don't.

"We ain't gonna let you." Daryl says standing up and then walks over to me.

"They're looking to you now." He whispers as he passes me to walk all the way back to his tent. I don't realize how heavy his words really were, they're looking to me now? Not possible, I may have convinced Hershel but that doesn't mean suddenly people will listen.

"I'd say this calls for celebration. I still have two bottles of wine in the trailer from the cdc." T dog cuts the quiet mood.

"Make it three, I stole one too." Glenn says. Andrea and Dale laugh. Glenn and T dog get their bottles while everyone talks amongst themselves. I walk over to sit by Carol.

"I'm sorry, there's nothing to celebrate." I tell her, I feel bad that everyone else is happy but she just found out today that her daughter died.

"No, there is. We get to stay, that's good." She nods with tears in her eyes.

"I could use the distraction." She says as Glenn comes over and hands us cups with wine already in it. Carol chugs hers back and I frown.

She gets up to go over to where T dog is pouring Andrea and Dale some.

"Hey," Shane sits down next to me.

"Hey." I say and take a sip of the wine. The last time I was drinking wine was when we were safe at the cdc and me and Shane spent the night making love.

"Thank you." I hum at his words and take another sip.

"I'm sorry, for everything. Seeing Hershel say you're the reason we're staying made me so damn proud, you were the one to convince him, not your daddy. You are something else, baby." The way he's looking at me right now and the words he's saying make me forgive him for the fighting and they also make me want to kiss him so hard that I get dizzy. Daryl wasn't the only one who knew I was my own person and not a shadow, Shane had been telling me all along too.

"I don't think my parents feel the same way." I tell him.

"Screw them. Because of you we get to stay."

I snort and swallow the rest of my wine. T dog sees and comes back to top me off with a wink. I roll my eyes but drink anyways.

"S'not what you were saying when I said they should know about us."

"Jade, that's-"

"I'm not gonna argue with you, Shane. Feels like we're going in circles." He takes a sip of his wine this time.

"Give me another chance here, we'll figure out how to tell them together."

"So now you want to tell them?"

"Maybe if we find the right words, just give me some time to figure out what the hell we can do." Before I can answer my dad is walking over with Lori.

"Jade? Can we speak to you?" He asks while looking at Shane strangely. Probably wondering why the hell we'd been talking so long and about what.

"Okay." I stand up and we walk off to the side enough to where we're out of ear shot.

"When did you talk to Hershel?" He asks me.

"Only a couple of hours ago." I shrug.

"Why didn't you tell me you were gonna talk to him?" He asks and my eyebrows furrow as I wonder why he cares.

"Uh, because I didn't plan to. I went inside to make sure Maggie was okay and he was there."

"You should've came to us first." My mom says and my dad nods.

"This could've gone a lot worse. Next time you do something like that run it through us first." He says. My eyes go wide and I almost laugh. Were they serious?

"Wow, so first off I actually don't have to run anything by you guys, I'm my own person. Secondly, you're welcome." I grit through my teeth and then walk away.

"Come to my tent when everyone goes to bed." I lean down to whisper to Shane when I get near him and then I chug my wine and walk over to Glenn to fill up my cup again. I sneak one last glance at Shane before walking to my tent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are they gonna kiss and makeup? Guess you'll have to wait and see....


End file.
